Begin & End

We started building a house last week.

We've been in the process for two and a half years, but it really feels like my whole life because "when we build our house" was always on the horizon.

It feels like that's the way a lot of my life is going right now. This is the time we've been talking about and to which everything's been leading up. I'm a senior in high school. That means this is my last summer of youth. My last year of HPA, co-op, piano. This is my last summer in this house. The last summer to run these specific roads in the morning. The last summer to sit alone on the tree swing as the sun sets.The last summer to make jam in this kitchen. The last fall to pull in and out of this driveway. The last fall to die of laughter in our kitchen over huge Carmel apples causing mouth problems. The last fall to watch these leaves change. The last fall to start a new highschool journal on the first Tuesday of September.

Last.

Last.

Last.

I hate lasts.
------------------------------
There's also a bunch of beginnings.

First time registering for classes. First time attending college. First time I'm fully responsible. First time I really have to decide what to do with my life. First time driving to school. First time driving the carpool to HPA. First time being a really truly "big kid." First time planning to graduate. First time to wonder about a after-school job.

First.

First.

First.

Sometimes, I think I hate firsts too.

If you haven't picked up on this yet, I'm a person of routine and order. I am usually content to keep things the way they are. Let's just perform this show every weekend for forever. Let's not start that new class. I don't want to drive on that new road. I like the group of people I hang out with now.

But we can never move ahead into all the fantastic blessings God has for us if we stayed in the past.

This means things have to change.

And we all know how I feel about change.

I had coffee with a friend last Friday and we discussed how wonderful it is that in the midst of our chaotic, crazy, ever-changing lives, God never changes. (Malachi 3:6, James 1:17, Psalm 102:27)

Ever.

I think as teenagers/young adults, when our life plans and friends and dreams and goals are changing faster than we can come to grip with it all, this is especially reassuring. My life feels like it is spiraling out of control so very often, but God never changes. My house may change, my plans may change, my friends may change, my job may change, but God remains the same faithful, holy, perfect, loving, all-knowing God that He always has been and always will be.

As a Christian, who you are to Him doesn't change either. As long as you continue loving and following Him, repenting and confessing your sin, He will hold you securely (1 John 5:18). Your world can be turning upside down, but He holds you in His hands, protecting you, shielding you, loving you, covering you with His wings.

For me, in the midst of so many beginnings and endings and I-don't-even-know!s, this is the ultimate reassurance. Wherever I'm going, whatever I'm doing, however life is changing moment by moment, these three things remain the same.

My God never changes.
He is always faithful.
He loves me, insecurities, unknowns, mistakes and all.

The same is true for you.

Yes, you. I might know you and I might not. But I do know this.

He loves you.

No matter how you messed up last year, last week, yesterday, this morning, no matter how much you doubt, He still loves you. He created you and you are His. Run to His unchanging arms today, friends, and let Him give you peace.

A Long-Needed Update

I've been scared to update on my last post... scared to tell you all that things are going better for fear they'll take a turn for the worse and scared to tell you that things are still bad because they really aren't and I'm just.so.blessed. But honestly, I don't know how to start to tell you.

Do I tell you about how the pain slowly dulled and is now nearly gone?? How I disobeyed God and how that didn't go so well?? How I have amazing friends and family that helped me through? How since then, I've experienced the blessings of God in full abundance pouring down on me?

It's been such a growing year for me. I've experienced school and lots of it. People told me that the junior year was heavy, and it's true. Chemistry, Advanced Math, American History and Biblical Worldview don't give me a lot of time, but God keeps reminding me that this is where He has me in life, to learn and study and work hard. And it's all going really well. My days are full, but they aren't overwhelming. God helps me every day.

HPA has been interesting. Every year is such an adjustment, and every year I think is really hard... until the next year. I've learned (and been reminded of), thus far: 1. God works everything out for good. 2. Singing alto is a really fun challenge. 3. True friends make time to listen and remember to check on you. 4. If you hurt someone- even accidentally- apologize right away. You have no idea how much pain can be prevented that way. 5. Saying "No, God, I don't really like that idea." and doing it anyway doesn't end prettily. 6. God loves to bless those who follow Him.

I've had to let go of friends that promised we'd stay together, and God has grown friendships that completely bless my socks off. No words to explain this. He's given me a friend who lets me call her anytime, totally is big-sister protective, and mentors me through life; another who makes me laugh, who cares and listens, and who always brings me back to God; and still another who never runs out of things to talk to me about, who can finish my sentences and with whom I can laugh hysterically about nothing with and who is always a text away from a prayer request.

And finally, everything for me goes back to God and the cross. It has been truly incredible to watch Him work in my life, and to realize that He is really always there, caring, loving, waiting. Prayer after prayer, He has revealed Himself to me, and I'm such an awful Christian- so unworthy to even bear that title- but He loves me anyway. He died to save me, to offer me and you and everyone the undeserved, ultimate grace. These last few weeks, so often I've stood in awe of His holiness, His perfection. It never gets old.

And at the end of this long, rambling blog post, that's what I want you to go away with.

God is good. 

He came to earth. 

He died. 

He rose. 

He is holy. 

He is King.

Jesus, I am Yours.

More soon, friends. ♥

Crashing Down

I think most people have a family. Not a flesh-and-blood, blue eyes, midwest drawl family, but a family of people that you surround yourself with when your mom and dad and sisters and brother can't be there. Theater's my thing and I've been so blessed over the years to have had some wonderful families there.

The devotion teams stand out the most. Each year, the directors pick 4-8 people to give devotions and lead the cast. We're selected, but it's more than that. We're a family. During Fiddler on the Roof, we were all trying to figure out exactly how to do this devotions and family thing, but my My Fair Lady team was incredible. We were all super close, we prayed and talked and encouraged and laughed all the time.

And I've been ready for this year. I had plans and dreams, ideas and devotions, all planned and ready to talk to that new team- my new family- about. Honestly, in my head, I was picking them out too.

"Okay, God, can I have Tim and Andy and Chase and Jamie and Abby and Ashlea and Christianna? Thanks."

Before auditions, I spent some time down on my grandparents' dock. And righ there in my journal, I wrote,

"So right here, God, I dedicate HPA this year to you. I'm placing my role, my cast, my committee, my friends, and my life in your hands. I give it all to You. There is no place I'd rather be than YOUR perfect plan. I am Yours. Use me, Lord."

Did you catch that little part there about my committee? The words sound nice, but they really meant, "God, I'll let You decide which devotion committee I'm on this year. I guess I'm okay with either one." It wasn't real submission, probably because I never had any thoughts about not being on the team. I'd been for the past two years, and I was a strong Christian with a desire to do it. I full-out adored it. I thought that was enough.

It wasn't. God had other plans and other lesson for my life. The cast and committee lists came out and the hardest part of that day wasn't the "oh, she and she and he and they aren't in my show." or even the "Okay, God, I guess I'll do the small, girl-group chorus again." It was reading those lists, seeing those committees, and knowing that they were a family. And I wasn't in it.

Call me crazy, but I've grieved the loss of this never-was-mine family. I denied for a bit that this was the truth, thinking, hoping, pulling at any last straw, "It's just a mistake. ____ will email me any time telling me that they mixed up the lists." Then it hit me and I was mad, upset that they could give "my" place to someone else.

God's been teaching me so much, though. It's humbling to have to answer people's "What committ- oh, right, you're on devotions." with "Actually..." and then the truth. I realized how proud I've been, how much I built my place in HPA on that lofty platform of devotions. I glorified in putting together devotions that would sound good and powerful, not necessarily asking God to speak His words through me, just to use my words for Him. There's a difference. Yet through it all, I loved it so much, I made it an idol in my life. It was an idol of pride, self-worth, and popularity. We all know that God can't stand idols.

So He pulled it down. It kinda felt like HPA as I know it came crashing down around me too. It's brought tears to my eyes more than once to watch the team meet in different corners and knowing how encouraging those meetings are. My heart hurt while I sat through devotions last week. Watching the community between the members has been painful. It's all been painful.

But it's good. That's the last word I want to use to describe it, but I must. Chris Brown talked at the Leadership Summit about how much pain and revenge Saul went through because he refused to admit that David was a better leader and warrior than he was. Saul wouldn't move over or get out of the chariot to make room for David.

Chris then asked us, "Do you have room in your chariot for someone else? Someone who might do the job better than you?" I kinda feel pushed out of the chariot, but honestly, I don't know if I would have gotten out any other way. So it's good. I'm where God wants me, and it's the best place to be. I'm crazy blessed to have been on the devotion team for two years, and I'm crazy blessed to get to listen to their devotions now.

Larry Osborne says, "We don't care who teaches the message, as long as the message is taught."

So teach it, devotion teams. Remind the casts who God is and who we are, and how everything we do; the singing, the dancing, the acting, everything, is for Him and because of Him and His love and His grace. Encourage them, rebuke them, teach them, and love them, every one, even the ones who are in no way like you. Stay humble, stay focused on grace and God. I'm praying for each of you.

"Not to us, oh Lord, not to us, but to Your Name be the glory."

Sea Breezes

Sometimes God puts a passion in you and it's revealed through little flashes and glimmers of joy.

Maybe it's in the smile you can't keep off your face when you're dancing your heart out or singing harmony in a crowd of your favorite people or throwing yourself in someone's face and stomping through your rehearsed lines on that wonderful hollow stage. And then the hugs and laughs that happen with those same people in the wings.

Maybe it's the way that whenever you're on hospital grounds, something in you lets go and you notice every person in scrubs, every long white doctor's coat, and every name badge and title. How you love the fountain and grand piano in the lobby and the walls and the carpet and the hand railings. And yes, how even the smell invigorates you.

Maybe it's how when you sit alone in a dark room with a computer with clicky keys, you can't help but to write. Maybe it's an email to a friend or a memoir of a wonderful day or a lesson you've learned but you almost can't physically stop until you've finished.

Or maybe it's something else. Maybe it's swimming or painting or computer tech or baking or running or mowing. Whatever it is, if your heart speeds up and your face can't help beaming and if you feel like you're home, then I would stop for a minute.

Ask God if He's speaking to you about this. Yes, it could be the wonder and the beauty that's luring you in, but does God want you to stay?

Or does He want you to leave?

That, my friends, is the question. Is this thing, this horseriding/soccer/coffeemaking thing, is this what God wants you to serve Him in? Is this the direction He wants your life to start moving?

If it is, then you should run through that open door and dive into the beautiful ocean of God's will for you.

If it isn't, then keep looking. Find another passion that your fire for is so strong, you think you might scorch those around you with the heat.

Too many people are content in their puddles, or even their pools, without realizing what wonders could await them. Sure, the saltwater stings your eyes sometimes. But when the sun hits your face and the sea breezes toss your dripping hair, you'll discover that this is pure joy- this wonderful place of being in the ocean of God's plans for beautiful, wonderful, amazing you.

Every Time I Turn It On...

Andy, Asia, myself & Beth | Sometime between 12 and 1 in the morning | February 10th, 2013

This is the picture that I see every time I turn on the computer.

I love it, but not just because it's a picture of a few of my dear friends.

I love it because it's a picture of the power of Jesus, the work of His hands.

I love it because it shows a healthy, healed Asia.

I love it because though Andy is sick, he's still smiling and still proclaiming that God is good.

I love it because Beth and I are standing together, like we did for 3 weeks straight.

I love it because this group- we prayed together every day, all the time.

I love it because though we all had bad days, though we all were tired and messy, we stood by each others' side through it all.

I love it because we laughed and cried, worshiped, sang, and prayed- together.

I love it because we fell on the rock of Jesus Christ everyday, and clung to it for precious refuge.

I love it because we got to work together all year long, and watch so many God stories of Asia's senior year.

I love it because it brings back so many memories of one of us going to another and exclaiming, "Guess what God just did!"

And I love it because each of them showed me the love of Jesus, and I praise Him that we got to be His hands and feet to each other every day.

I love it, because I am blessed.

(Yes, My Fair Lady closed back in February, and I'm just now writing about it. Better late than never. :) I've been waiting to post until I had more pictures (*hint* you know who you are), but I decided to go ahead with just this one.)

Are You Really Okay?

We're standing in the dusk of backstage left when her searching eyes look into mine. "Linds, are you okay?"

I jump to assure her that I am, that I'm "fine."

Source

Her eyes pierce deeper. "You hide things."

I know. oh, how I know.

"I hope you do tell things to some one."

ouch.

Her words haunt me for the rest of the night and into the next morning.  She's right. I hide things deep, shovel "I'm fine"s on top, because I'm scared of being hurt. again.

She won't hurt me. She loves me. She's my friend.

And she's worth the truth.

Source

It's easy to feel like she won't care, but she does.

It's so easy to feel like she's too busy, has too much stress to handle my little problems. I mean, she's Eliza! in My Fair Lady! She has enough to think about.

But the truth is, I'm hurting her by my hiding.

I only have a week and a half left of this show with her, before she's graduated from HPA forever.

Do I really want this last show to be tainted with my lies? Or will I share, deepen our trust?

It's in the dark of night that I resolve.

And when I see her in a few hours, after we hug and she tells me how practice has gone so far, when she looks into my eyes and asks "And how are you?"

She's going to get the truth.

The whole truth.

Every time.

Because she's worth it.

A Team

During Fiddler, one of my favorite memories is just remembering the camaraderie between all 6 members of the devotion team. Yes, we had been chosen by the directors as a group, but we were more than a team.

We were friends.

When we were together, God was there with us. When one of us gave devotions to the cast, the rest of us were behind that one, praying. When we had a problem or prayer request or a praise, that was the group we'd take it to.

Together, we were set-apart. 

Praying before closing night- in various stages of costuming

This year, our team is different. Janae graduated, Tanner has gone other directions, Chase is in Seussical, but Asia, Abby and I are still here. together. And we've added two guys, Andy and Jamie to our midst.

and it's incredible what God has done.

I hadn't realized just how much I depended on these people. They were the ones who I could always go to. They were always there.

But on Thursday, practice was a little different. Andy was gone, due to being sick, and Asia sprained her back and was taken away in an ambulance early in our practice.

HPA wasn't the same. Abby and I didn't know what to do- how to go about our day- without these two critical members of our group. It was as if our little family had been ripped apart.

And in those moments, Jesus reminded me to never, ever, take someone for granted. Asia showed us all how quickly someone can be perfectly healthy one moment, and gone away in a flash of red light the next.

So look around you. Find the people whom are stable. and imagine your life without them.

Then thank Jesus that that picture isn't reality.

And hug those people extra tight next time you see them.

When Jesus Says "See How Much I Love You?"

I'm really sentimental. Those who know me in real life know that.

This year, I'm in HPA's My Fair Lady (What!?! I know. I haven't talked about casting at all.) and one of my mom's best friends is the choreographer for Seussical. She has a precious 3 year old, Crew whom I have the privilege of watching while she's teaching. She's also due with her 6th baby in 2 weeks. I'm really pumped. :)

But anyway. I watch Crew while Mrs. W dances. We read stories and do projects and be spies and pirates and play games. It's so fun and I love it. But a few weeks ago, Mrs. W started being scheduled in small little groups, and she always had a son free to watch him.

In the past few days, I realized that my days watching just Crew were probably done. Today was supposed to be another lighter day and by our next rehearsal, Baby W will be here. It made me kinda of sad, because I really wanted one final "This is my last day with just Crew" day.

I was getting something ready for breakfast yesterday morning and in my head prayed, "God, It would be really cool if You could call the full cast so that I could watch Crew one last time."

That's it. I really "knew" that it wouldn't happen, because HPA people don't change plans easily.

Then later that day, I discovered the Seuss email in my inbox.

There was a purple box that read "Full Cast. 10-11 Choreo. Mrs. W."

I was floored.

It was then that God whispered to me "See what I can do with a simple prayer? Have faith in Me, darling. My plans for you are good."

The My Fair Lady (MFL) email hadn't come in yet, but I knew (for real this time) that God had everything in His hands.

And sure enough, when the email arrived, I had the whole morning open. Completely free to spend 3 hours with my little boy.

Wasn't he just this little?!? {Thanksgiving 2010}

So today, I'm going to doing everything I talked about yesterday. I'll relish this last practice of being devoted to just Crew.

And then I'll come home and get really excited for the 27th and to see if Baby W is a boy or a "girl with braids" as Ellie and Hannah say. :)  (Random note: wouldn't it be strange if baby girls were born with braids? Poor E & H will be quite disappointed if this baby is a girl, because, although s/he supposedly has lots of hair, I know for a fact it won't be braided.)

More soon. <3

Ponderings: HPA, Death & Trust in the Lord

It has been a crazy month.

And probably the hardest-craziest-busiest one that my HPA family has ever faced.

I talked a little bit about Marissa's Momma passing away on July 3rd.

The shows announcement was later then it has ever been, not coming out until July 14th.

We had a whirlwind of a two and a half weeks, memorizing monologues and singing "Oh, the Thinks You Can Think."

Friday, July 27th, we went to a party. It was full of laughter and friends, no one even imagining what would come next.

Sunday afternoon, the 29th, Bre's Dad called mine.

Sam and Christianna's dad had died. Extremely unexpectedly.

We had seen him just two days before.

Auditions were only 5 days later, on August 2nd, leaving HPA with an month that can't be looked at lightly.
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It really makes me ponder death, this having two of my friends' parents leave this earthly home. We knew that one was coming, the other shocked us all, leaving hundreds of speechless people all over our area.

I had a hard few days, hurting so badly for both of these families that I have grown to love. It's hard to trust sometimes, but after lots of Bible reading and prayer, I know that God has a plan for everything that's happened, both the pain and the good. I'll probably have deeper thoughts on this topic when everything has sunk in a bit more.
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Auditions went really, really well. I had to do some last minute adjustments, which are never fun, but God really came through and guided me the whole way. I could so feel His presence and love throughout the whole day... in the hugs He sent my way, the dance party I had with a few friends to relieve our stress, and the answers to the prayers I prayed.

All I can say, is that I'm glad that it's all over and that I'm not in charge of casting. I'm so happy that I can trust in the Lord.
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 And really, that's all life is about. Trust in the Lord, and He will make your paths straight. He doesn't promise it will be easy, but He does promise He'll be with you.

He's the best. :)

"Without Our Traditions..."

"Our lives would be as shaky as... As a Fiddler on the Roof!" bum, bum, bum. Boom, Boom. The music still echoes through my head. And it will still. for years. but I'm okay with that. :)

Getting ready for Fruma-Sarah to come back from the grave

Being goofy :P

Elizabeth!!!!

Abby-Doodle and I

It would have been scandalous for a Russian Jewish girl to even look at a Catholic priest, much less wear his hat. But, as you can see, I am a very scandalous daughter.

My and Katherine's pre-show dance... another one of my favorite traditions

Our devotion committee praying before devotions one evening... this was one of my favorite parts of the entire day.

Crew and Libby

Brye... and a random penguin found sitting on a stool

The tv in the makeup room

Our amazing bottledancers

6 perfect shows... never dropping a bottle

My family :)

Full cast, crew and staff. If we had been missing a single person, none of this would have been possible. (And Breilen's sign reads "Peter Sinko..." Peter was really, really sick and so had to be represented in that way. :) )

And She's a Freshman {Again}

Friday, one of my bestest friends walked down the aisle and accepted her diploma from her parents. It's so hard to believe that she finally is no longer a highschooler, but instead a college freshman.

Over this past month and a year, we've made so many memories. Our friendship began in the midst of a rough time for her, but it really built our friendship upon Christ.

Let's see, my favorite memories include:

• praying together backstage before each AGYG show... and about every hour during those weeks.
• Writing out verses on torn notebook paper and leaving them in random places
• long talks on the phone over the summer
• looking for sea glass along the shore of Lake Michigan for hours
• being in Fiddler together!
• those really long practices where we both didn't want to move and did anyway.

•  The way we can look at each other from across the room and tell the other's emotional state
• Getting paired together in the Chava dance and being each other's "best friend" on stage as well
• All the tears we've shared, all the pain we've endured, all the laughter, the smiles and the fun that has all come from Jesus Christ.
• The extra special bond we shared on closing night...

Katherine, 
I've loved having my freshman year blessed with the friendship of you. You never fail to make my day, make me smile, make me laugh. My life has been forever changed because of you. And you know that words will never express how much you mean to me. 
Love always, 
Sunshine

Have You Been Waiting?

Have you been sitting on the edge of your seat, waiting for news about Fiddler? I know, I've been a little lax in posting about it.

I think it's because the experience was, in general, so awe-inspiring, Christ honoring and just plain amazing, that I haven't been able to put it to words. I'll definitely keep trying- because I want a written record of the beauty that was Fiddler.

And pictures! You knew I'd have some. :) These are my cast party pictures, when we were all try to stay calm and know that we really would see each other again.

Katherine and I, with a Frisbee game in the background

Montanna and I- isn't her haircut adorable?!?

Annalise

Abby-Doodle and Anna and I ... they are some of my dearest, closest friends.

Naomi was a daughter with me, and we had so much fun together.

Mrs. M.- Whitney- and I. She was one of our choreographers and she did an amazing job.

With Whitney's younger sister, Brye

Our devotion Committee, minus Asia. These people were my prayer warriors, my partners and my friends. Yeah, I miss them.

Standing in the shadows of the cross

I'll put my other pictures in order soon.

A Prayer Surprise

I sank to the step, my stomach churning in the darkness of the room offstage left. I couldn't figure out why I felt so strange, and I could only ask the Lord to take away the ache and pain to let me perform this show at 100%.  People walked in and out of the room- staying quiet as to not interrupt the ongoing show. I heard steps and ignored them, but this time- they stopped.

"Hey Lindsey? Are you okay?" The masculine voice caused me to look up and I saw Andy standing there. Smiling weakly, I explained that I wasn't feeling very well, but I'd be okay. Looking at me straight in the eye, he asked "Well, is it okay if I pray with you?"

"Of course," I murmured and he took a seat beside me and placed his arm around my shoulders. His voice was sincere and strong as he called upon the Lord to heal me and keep me strong. When he closed, it was all I could do to get out a heartfelt "Thank you" as he left to make his next stage entrance.

Why did it surprise me that someone would care enough to pray with me? Truth hit me as I realized that this should not be a rare occurrence, that when something is wrong or someone is hurting, the natural response should be to pray with them.

I've prayed with people before, but it's not always my first response. Andy has inspired me to not hesitate to take someone before the Lord. Will you let him inspire you also?

Beginning the Count...

I've wanted to do this for a while... start a list of one thousand gifts that God has blessed me with. Breanne and I decided to do it together- keep each other accountable. I made us matching books and viola! We had a project! I started tonight and my list keeps on growing.

1. The Redeeming Grace of Jesus Christ
2. Parents teaching us to trust the Lord
3. All eight of my brothers and sisters
4. The knowledge that 3 of them are safe in the arms of Jesus forever
5. A community that is so supportive of homeschooling
6.  My beloved HPA
7. The first weekend of Fiddler shows going well- To God be the Glory!
8. Twin girls sitting on my floor strumming away at the guitars and singing their little hearts out
9. The best friends in the entire world
10. Three friends praying with me at different times on Saturday- Katherine, Katie and Andy
11. Hannah calling up the stairs "Yinds! Where are you?"
12. My little yellow camera, whose lens captures memories never worth forgetting
13. Teachers who understand the craziness of show week and extend grace- and deadlines.
14. Kari Jobe's "Steady My Heart" in moments when my heart needs steadying
15. Writing gifts with my "----------- Lawncare" pen
16. A 15 minute conversation with John about his growing business
17. A {really} great score on my narrative paper returned today

 

{Will it be every Monday I share here? I don't know. I'm hoping it keeps me accountable, but I'm holding myself to a standard of grace, not perfection.}

What I've been up to...

Fiddler opened on Thursday and it's going wonderfully. :) Yesterday Mr. Dan and Mr. O decided to jump in the Russians' practice while Ella, Anna and I tied candy bags. Thankfully, I had my camera ready. These are the only pictures I'm allowed to post right now, until the show is over.

Be ready for lots more pictures once we close next weekend. :)

P.S. She came yesterday. It was wonderful. and yes, I have a picture.

Because it makes me smile...

Obviously this picture is quite old... almost two years.  But it was the only picture I had.

Last Saturday, my dear friend Katherine and her brother Matthew took me up to see HPA's production of The Wizard of Oz. It was a great show, but it's more the memories that make me smile when I think about it.

Cause you see that guy up there? The one sitting next to me? His name is Mr. Cole and he's amazing. I'll probably talk more about him later, so for now, you'll have to take my word on it.

So when we went to Oz... (I love that statement. It sounds like we were actually there- in Oz. ) I was so crazy excited to see Mr. Cole. I hadn't seen him since the wedding (I was too busy looking for certain people at Beast.) And when I finally found him about 45 minutes after the show ended, he was talking to someone on stage. So I went up, expecting a side hug and maybe a smile before going on my merry way. 

He looked straight at me, said "You stay right there." and continued his conversation. I sank down, crossed my legs and rested my head on my fists. Yes, I get goofy with my friends and it was late. 10:45ish. 

Meanwhile, my group of friends was about 10 feet away, talking and laughing. I later found out that Katherine had asked "What is she doing?" and Breanne answered "She's basking in his wisdom." What was I saying about us being goofy?!?!? :)

When Mr. Cole had finish his conversation, I stood up. He picked me up, swung me around and gave me the best hug I've ever received. It makes me smile just thinking about it. I got to talk to him for probably 5 whole minutes. straight. Seriously, guys. It's the little things in life. :)

"Why is this important?" you might ask. Well, it's not. But it's a memory I wanted to catalog. Deeper thoughts coming soon, I promise.

Joy is...

Joy is an intensive, good practice even after this.

Joy is walking and talking with her during our breaks.

Joy is the beautiful plants in bloom.

Joy is seeing three dear friends at Pizza Hut.

Joy is banana chocolate chip muffins, fresh from the oven.

Joy is having watched all five since 8:30, and having it be a good day.

Joy is getting to see EJ, Josh, Jenna, Elizabeth, Breanne and Brooklyn in Beauty and the Beast tonight.

Joy is also getting to see Veronica, Anna, Katherine and Annie tonight.

Joy is the knowledge that Jesus has provided for our needs already, we just have to wait and see what He has planned.

At this moment, what is joy to you?

Mrs. P

Yesterday was much more difficult then I would have imagined.

We all knew something was up, when the full HPA staff called our full cast to together at 10. I mean, most of them were supposed to be at Beauty and the Beast, which opened that night. and when Mr. G and Mrs. B got up there and then couldn't say anything for a moment, the tension only grew.

The short of it, our assistant director, Mrs. P along with her daughter Christina, have had to drop our show. We had a very emotional day, lots of tears from everyone, getting to hug them one last time and lots of prayers.

Mr G read us 1 Peter 5:6&7 after he told us the news and it reads

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 

We are trusting that God is going to lift us up. We need His help right now. With only two practices left until Tech week, these final days are critical. and Mr. G can't do it alone.

Please be praying for our entire Fiddler cast. There was a gaping hole yesterday, both in the practice and in our hearts. Healing takes time, and we don't have much of it.

Mrs. P and her lovely daughter, Theresa. ::photo by my Veronica-Girl::

Mrs. P- This is my public acknowledgment to say thank you for being such an influential person in my life. I have been so touched by your kindness, your brilliant smile and your sweet words. Thank you for living for Christ through everything you do. I miss you so much already. HPA won't be the same without your shining presence. I love you.