A Prayer for Today

Lord, help me not be obsessed with a countdown, but instead be obsessed with living each day fully the way You intended, with no regrets. May I thrive where You've planted me, instead of merely surviving. And may I not wish away a day of this glorious life, but enjoy every moment for what it is- beautiful, and part of Your perfect plan. 

{Originally posted on Instagram} 

A Year Ago Today {Nicholas's Hospital Story}

A year ago today, June 5th, 2012, started normally. It didn’t end that way.

That Tuesday started one of the craziest weeks of our lives, and we couldn’t have made it through without the support of some very special people.

To you who cleaned our house, filled our fridge, organized our towel drawer and brought us dinners,

Who stayed with us at different points, took the kiddos to swimming and me to driver ed,

Who occupied the girls, did our laundry and let me cry in the car,

Who texted me over and over, and let me vent,

Who sent us encouraging emails, texts and Facebook messages, and let us know you cared,

Who visited Nicholas in the hospital, prayed over him, and let my momma have a water break,

Who prayed,

Thank you. I can’t express how much you mean to us all. Your prayers, words, and help mattered- to Mom at the hospital, Dad in Ohio, and me home with all the girls. We couldn’t have made it without you and we firmly believe that Nicholas is healed today because of the healing power of our Heavenly Father. Your prayers made a difference.

Nicholas’s story is below, for those who might wish to read it.

God is good.

~~~
It’s a basic Tuesday morning and my mom is out running when my sister comes in and tells me that my brother can’t get out of bed. I go in and basically tell him to swing his legs around and climb down. It seems like a minor bump to a “normal” day. An hour or two later, he’s still complaining about his leg when I leave for Driver’s Ed.

Later in the day, he’s still in a ton of pain- and Kristin is still hobbling around from her hurt toe she got at soccer the night before. After dinner, Mom takes them both to the urgent care clinic, and I stay home with the little ones. She brings them home around 9:30- Kristin with a jammed toe and Nicholas undiagnosed. They think that possibly he has an appendix on the other side and that maybe he has appendicitis. We’re told to go the the E.R. if his pain gets worse or if he throws up. It’s a hard process to get him up the stairs and into bed.

The next morning, he “thinks it feels a little better.” I go off to driver’s ed again, after making Momma promise several times to text me updates. He gets worse throughout the day, and once piano lessons are over, Mom decides to take him in. Getting him into the car is difficult; he’s in so much pain that he can’t move his leg or hip without crying. We all cry a little watching him cry as they drive away.

Mom calls every few hours to give us updates, and the doctors don’t seem to know exactly what is wrong. First they say it’s appendicitis, then a badly pulled muscle, then a bacterial infection of the hip. It’s hard to wait, not knowing. Anna and Libby get a lot of texts, and their prayers and assurance is such a blessing. The doctors decide to admit him overnight and Mrs. W and Carson come over to spend the night with us and bring food. Dad leaves Ohio at 3 in the morning so that he can be at [the hospital] by 9. We think there’s a lot of long, painful tests ahead, and Dad wants to be there for Nick, for Mom, and for us.

I have to leave the house at 7:15 to drive the next day, and Mom texts while I’m at class that it’s a viral infection called Toxic Synovitis. They come home around 3, and he’s still limping, but so much better. He’s home, and we all think that life will go back to normal again. It doesn’t.

~~~

It’s around 8:30 the next morning when the phone rings. Mom answers it, gets a funny look on her face, and goes into the office to talk. A few minutes later, she comes back in to tell me that the doctor called and that they found staph infection in Nicholas’s blood- in both samples they sent in to test. The doctors need him to come back to the hospital right away. His appointment for 4 o’clock that afternoon is too late.

When Momma tells him, he cries, “You mean I have to go back and get more blood tests?” He’d had 7 blood tests and 3 ivs already in the past 24 hours. Mom texts Anna from church to come stay with the kids, and I have to get ready to leave for Driver’s Ed. At this point, I begin to think that driving is a little overrated.

Mrs. S comes to pick me up, and Mom comes out to the van to tell her. Then Mom starts crying, I start crying and Mrs. S starts praying. It’s a few minutes before we leave our driveway. Everyone in the car and at class was so sweet, but I think that was the longest class in history. I get home to a counter full of food, a clean house, and the kids just getting home from swimming lessons. I strongly believe we have the best friends in the world.

The doctors do an echocardiogram of Nicholas’s heart to make sure the staph isn’t infecting it, and it comes back fine. Ws pick us up and take us to a little party that's been planned for a few weeks, and we pray for Nicholas while we’re there. We’re told that the doctors will do one more test to make sure he’s positive, and then they will start him on iv antibiotics for a week or two. If he responds well to those, they’d send him home with a PIC line for another two to four weeks. I email and text to get others praying, and Mom and Dad do the same. Satan starts whispering, “You know how you planned to...” and “How will you do/go ___ with Nick attached to medical lines all day?” We keep praying. Satan goes away.

We all get to go visit Nicholas at the hospital the next morning, and then Anna takes us home. We’re supposed to get the test results around 12, and Dad and Mom don’t want us there. It’s closer to one when a doctor comes in and tells them. “There’s absolutely no traces of staph in his blood. There’s no explanation for this. I just can’t understand it.”

We do. Our God is good.

Every Time I Turn It On...

Andy, Asia, myself & Beth | Sometime between 12 and 1 in the morning | February 10th, 2013

This is the picture that I see every time I turn on the computer.

I love it, but not just because it's a picture of a few of my dear friends.

I love it because it's a picture of the power of Jesus, the work of His hands.

I love it because it shows a healthy, healed Asia.

I love it because though Andy is sick, he's still smiling and still proclaiming that God is good.

I love it because Beth and I are standing together, like we did for 3 weeks straight.

I love it because this group- we prayed together every day, all the time.

I love it because though we all had bad days, though we all were tired and messy, we stood by each others' side through it all.

I love it because we laughed and cried, worshiped, sang, and prayed- together.

I love it because we fell on the rock of Jesus Christ everyday, and clung to it for precious refuge.

I love it because we got to work together all year long, and watch so many God stories of Asia's senior year.

I love it because it brings back so many memories of one of us going to another and exclaiming, "Guess what God just did!"

And I love it because each of them showed me the love of Jesus, and I praise Him that we got to be His hands and feet to each other every day.

I love it, because I am blessed.

(Yes, My Fair Lady closed back in February, and I'm just now writing about it. Better late than never. :) I've been waiting to post until I had more pictures (*hint* you know who you are), but I decided to go ahead with just this one.)

{On The Events of Friday}

I was at a school on Friday.

For the first time in 6 years, I signed in at an office and walked the halls. I peeked through doors into classrooms full of kids.

And then I served 10 kindergarteners lunch.

They were cheerful and merry- their hearts were full of the joy that comes when it's almost Christmas and you're 5.

I saw Jesus in them.

It was several hours later before I got home, serving lunch to 20+ other students and teachers and then studying for a midterm at a friend's. Just before dinner, I logged onto the computer and kept seeing glimpses of something that happened in CT.

It puzzled me, but not enough to find out what happened. I finally clicked a link and came across a news article that notified me of the horrific truth- 27 dead. 20 children between the ages of 6 and 7. 6 women. and then he killed himself.

The stories filled our house over the next 2 days as we all tried to comprehend what we were reading and watching. The teachers who threw themselves in front of their students and died. The families never got to thank them.

The teacher who got her class to the closet and managed to barricade them in- and kept them quiet- for over an hour.

I look at the faces of those who died and my heart hurts for each of their families, who- as my mom put it- have unwrapped presents with now-dead names under the tree.

A co-op teacher of mine encouraged us to pick a name or two and commit to praying for those families for a year. I've picked Emilie Parker, because her picture reminds me so much of my girlies.

Will you pick a family to pray for? These are not just names on a list; these are people. These are living, breathing, hurting people. They need your prayers.

Will you give them?

A Team

During Fiddler, one of my favorite memories is just remembering the camaraderie between all 6 members of the devotion team. Yes, we had been chosen by the directors as a group, but we were more than a team.

We were friends.

When we were together, God was there with us. When one of us gave devotions to the cast, the rest of us were behind that one, praying. When we had a problem or prayer request or a praise, that was the group we'd take it to.

Together, we were set-apart. 

Praying before closing night- in various stages of costuming

This year, our team is different. Janae graduated, Tanner has gone other directions, Chase is in Seussical, but Asia, Abby and I are still here. together. And we've added two guys, Andy and Jamie to our midst.

and it's incredible what God has done.

I hadn't realized just how much I depended on these people. They were the ones who I could always go to. They were always there.

But on Thursday, practice was a little different. Andy was gone, due to being sick, and Asia sprained her back and was taken away in an ambulance early in our practice.

HPA wasn't the same. Abby and I didn't know what to do- how to go about our day- without these two critical members of our group. It was as if our little family had been ripped apart.

And in those moments, Jesus reminded me to never, ever, take someone for granted. Asia showed us all how quickly someone can be perfectly healthy one moment, and gone away in a flash of red light the next.

So look around you. Find the people whom are stable. and imagine your life without them.

Then thank Jesus that that picture isn't reality.

And hug those people extra tight next time you see them.

When Jesus Says "See How Much I Love You?"

I'm really sentimental. Those who know me in real life know that.

This year, I'm in HPA's My Fair Lady (What!?! I know. I haven't talked about casting at all.) and one of my mom's best friends is the choreographer for Seussical. She has a precious 3 year old, Crew whom I have the privilege of watching while she's teaching. She's also due with her 6th baby in 2 weeks. I'm really pumped. :)

But anyway. I watch Crew while Mrs. W dances. We read stories and do projects and be spies and pirates and play games. It's so fun and I love it. But a few weeks ago, Mrs. W started being scheduled in small little groups, and she always had a son free to watch him.

In the past few days, I realized that my days watching just Crew were probably done. Today was supposed to be another lighter day and by our next rehearsal, Baby W will be here. It made me kinda of sad, because I really wanted one final "This is my last day with just Crew" day.

I was getting something ready for breakfast yesterday morning and in my head prayed, "God, It would be really cool if You could call the full cast so that I could watch Crew one last time."

That's it. I really "knew" that it wouldn't happen, because HPA people don't change plans easily.

Then later that day, I discovered the Seuss email in my inbox.

There was a purple box that read "Full Cast. 10-11 Choreo. Mrs. W."

I was floored.

It was then that God whispered to me "See what I can do with a simple prayer? Have faith in Me, darling. My plans for you are good."

The My Fair Lady (MFL) email hadn't come in yet, but I knew (for real this time) that God had everything in His hands.

And sure enough, when the email arrived, I had the whole morning open. Completely free to spend 3 hours with my little boy.

Wasn't he just this little?!? {Thanksgiving 2010}

So today, I'm going to doing everything I talked about yesterday. I'll relish this last practice of being devoted to just Crew.

And then I'll come home and get really excited for the 27th and to see if Baby W is a boy or a "girl with braids" as Ellie and Hannah say. :)  (Random note: wouldn't it be strange if baby girls were born with braids? Poor E & H will be quite disappointed if this baby is a girl, because, although s/he supposedly has lots of hair, I know for a fact it won't be braided.)

More soon. <3

{Psalm 33:10-12}

The Lord foils the plans of the nations;
    he thwarts the purposes of the peoples.

But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever,
    the purposes of his heart through all generations.

 Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord,
    the people he chose for his inheritance.

Please, vote the way Jesus would tomorrow.

{image source}

Ponderings: HPA, Death & Trust in the Lord

It has been a crazy month.

And probably the hardest-craziest-busiest one that my HPA family has ever faced.

I talked a little bit about Marissa's Momma passing away on July 3rd.

The shows announcement was later then it has ever been, not coming out until July 14th.

We had a whirlwind of a two and a half weeks, memorizing monologues and singing "Oh, the Thinks You Can Think."

Friday, July 27th, we went to a party. It was full of laughter and friends, no one even imagining what would come next.

Sunday afternoon, the 29th, Bre's Dad called mine.

Sam and Christianna's dad had died. Extremely unexpectedly.

We had seen him just two days before.

Auditions were only 5 days later, on August 2nd, leaving HPA with an month that can't be looked at lightly.
-----
It really makes me ponder death, this having two of my friends' parents leave this earthly home. We knew that one was coming, the other shocked us all, leaving hundreds of speechless people all over our area.

I had a hard few days, hurting so badly for both of these families that I have grown to love. It's hard to trust sometimes, but after lots of Bible reading and prayer, I know that God has a plan for everything that's happened, both the pain and the good. I'll probably have deeper thoughts on this topic when everything has sunk in a bit more.
-----
Auditions went really, really well. I had to do some last minute adjustments, which are never fun, but God really came through and guided me the whole way. I could so feel His presence and love throughout the whole day... in the hugs He sent my way, the dance party I had with a few friends to relieve our stress, and the answers to the prayers I prayed.

All I can say, is that I'm glad that it's all over and that I'm not in charge of casting. I'm so happy that I can trust in the Lord.
-----
 And really, that's all life is about. Trust in the Lord, and He will make your paths straight. He doesn't promise it will be easy, but He does promise He'll be with you.

He's the best. :)

What Can You Say...

What can you say to a friend whose mom passed into the Gates of Glory only a few short days ago?

Not "I know how you feel."

Everyone says "Let me know what I can do to help you."

And "I'm praying" while it is adequate, just isn't enough words, although it is true.

It all leads me to cry out "God, what do I say to her?!?"

And He whispers in my ear, "Just be there for her. Hug her. Show her that you are there whenever, all the time. Show her the tears in your eyes. Show her your love- and through that love, MY love."

So I hug her. I text her. I'm present and all there.

And I keep praying earnestly, that she can feel His presence.

She does.

And even in the hardest days,

He is good.

Marissa and I~ Wonka 2012

A Prayer Surprise

I sank to the step, my stomach churning in the darkness of the room offstage left. I couldn't figure out why I felt so strange, and I could only ask the Lord to take away the ache and pain to let me perform this show at 100%.  People walked in and out of the room- staying quiet as to not interrupt the ongoing show. I heard steps and ignored them, but this time- they stopped.

"Hey Lindsey? Are you okay?" The masculine voice caused me to look up and I saw Andy standing there. Smiling weakly, I explained that I wasn't feeling very well, but I'd be okay. Looking at me straight in the eye, he asked "Well, is it okay if I pray with you?"

"Of course," I murmured and he took a seat beside me and placed his arm around my shoulders. His voice was sincere and strong as he called upon the Lord to heal me and keep me strong. When he closed, it was all I could do to get out a heartfelt "Thank you" as he left to make his next stage entrance.

Why did it surprise me that someone would care enough to pray with me? Truth hit me as I realized that this should not be a rare occurrence, that when something is wrong or someone is hurting, the natural response should be to pray with them.

I've prayed with people before, but it's not always my first response. Andy has inspired me to not hesitate to take someone before the Lord. Will you let him inspire you also?

Another Example of Working Prayer

Our leads for Wonka have been working hard. exceptionally hard. Final dress rehearsal went amazingly well. They sang. They danced. They improv-ed. especially Breilen. He belted so hard that Friday morning (Jan. 27) - opening night- he woke up with a sore throat.

The day went downhill from there.

When we arrived at HPA, his momma was pinning a sign on his shirt that read, "I'm on voice rest. Mum's the word from me!" As playful as this seems, Breilen was not smiling.

We didn't hear him speak until he sang the opening note of the show that night and as he worked his way through both acts- with the help of tea, raw honey and gargling salt water in the kitchenette- my heart hurt for this young man who had worked so hard, yet had to perform under circumstances that were beyond his ability. The moment the show was over, his parents swept him home to rest.

That night I prayed and went to bed. Around one I woke up. and no matter what, I couldn't go back to sleep. God brought Breilen to mind. So I spent about an hour praying for him.

We were up bright and early, at HPA by 9:30 to be ready for the two more shows that day. We poured out effert, prayed hard and cried. We -the crew- poured out ourselves to do anything -anything- we could to help this cast.

By the end of the day, I had talked to 5 other people who, from 1-2 that morning, had been awake and praying for Breilen.

That night I had chills.

It was amazing to me that I was able to be a part of something bigger, something stronger. Never before had I experienced being part of a group prayer... when the "group" wasn't together. Mrs. C told me that she had told Breilen that he was being bathed in prayer, but she hadn't known how much. Only God could unite our hearts to lift up our "Wonka" during a time when we all should have been asleep- but were petitioning on our knees instead.

(For those wondering, that Saturday's shows went better than could be expected. God came through, answering prayers, giving strength and voice. This weekend's show were amazing. A healed Breilen did wonders for this cast and no pain enabled Breilen to be Wonka- to be himself- and to be better then we ever could have prayed.)

Opening scene- a healed Breilen Wonka. All praise due to Jesus Christ.

"I have created Two Hundred Original and Sensational Candy Bars- Each with a Different center and each one sweeter and creamier than the last...."
Photo Copyright by our show photographer

Prayer- It Works!

Don’t ever tell me that prayer doesn’t work.

Jesus uses it to work miracles.
~~~~~~~
I don’t know if you know how much work it takes to design lights for a show. It takes hours. Hours and hours of dedicated, intense work sitting over a computer and running back and forth changing light bulbs and checking scripts. For Wonka, we have three geniuses who designed the lights: Breilen, Peter and Adam. They have put in over 20 hours and we are all so thankful.
~~~~~~
A few days ago, I was helping Adam finish up a few final light cues for the hour as people practicing swirled around us. He and Breilen had already worked for over 3 hours that morning and we were crossing one more thing off the never-ending list. Adam was typing in the final cue when a message flashed onto the screen.

EON has encountered a problem and needs to close.

“No way.” Adam whispered as my pulse picked up. He kept up the whispered “This is not happening!” as he began pushing buttons and when the system rebooted, nothing was there.

The song floated through my head “If we’ve ever needed you, Lord, it’s now.”

His face drained of any color, Adam sent his chair flying. “I need to go get Breilen.”

Me? I sat there and prayed, prayed harder then I ever had for a computer system and a bunch of lightbulbs.

A few minutes later, Adam and Breilen were there again. Breilen sat down-he too a bit paler then usual. At his first move of the mouse, the screen lit up and cues filled the space we all stared so hard at.

“Well... I think I see everything...” Breilen glanced at each of us, a bit puzzled.

“That was so not there a few minutes ago.” Adam choked out. Glancing at me, they knelt around the board, watching all their morning work load before their eyes.

As Breilen went back to practice, (the show’s kinda named after him, he’s Willy Wonka!) I looked up into Adam’s face towering above me.

“I was praying so hard... Jesus is here, Adam. He’s watching out for us.”

I can still hear Adam’s reply, his voice still a bit trembly as his fingers took a break from pushing all the save buttons.

“Lindsey, I think that’s what saved us because both you and I know... Our work was gone. He really is good.”

~~~~~

Yes, Adam. He really is.