Life right now...

...is not going the way we had planned. 

Doesn't God like to throw in surprises and trials that seem unbearable? 

When the dark stretches out and we can't see the end- we don't know where the end is- is He still the same, the kind, living, holy God?

He is.

----------

Monday (the 26th) when my Mom was packing up at my grandparent's house, she fell coming out of their front door and broke her foot. We drove home (3 hours) and my Dad took her to the ER when we got home around 10 that night. She has a cast and crutches. and ironically, she fell at my grandparent's house in the same place and broke the same bone 7 years ago. So we are expecting the same 6-8 weeks of not walking. 

 Which means that our house is running on my dad and I. Dad is off work until the 3rd, which is giving us some time to adjust. Adjusting has been... interesting. It's hard for Mom not being able to carry anyone or anything and hard for us not to call "Hey Mom! I think the twins locked themselves in the bathroom."

So prayers for her healing and patience are appreciated. Also, prayers for my family. and I suppose the real reason I'm writing this is to ask for prayers for me. It was crazy to me how soon Satan started attacking me after I heard the news. "You know that's three meals a day and laundry for 8 people along with keeping the house clean and taking care of the twins and there's this thing called school. Oh and remember Wonka starts in 3 weeks." It took a walk in the snow to brush away the tears that insisted on coming and to say "Back away from me Satan. You shall not have this ground." The short of it is, I'm overwhelmed. But my God is good. I am feeling the peace of Christ as I strive for patience and joy. I'm not naturally a very patient person. :)

So prayer, if you can spare the time, would be wonderful.

 I'm going to try to post here sometimes, but if you don't hear from me for awhile, you'll know why. I'll be cooking supper, reading to 3 year olds and trying to grab bits and pieces of geometry during my spare time.

Thanks for understanding.

{quotes from an email I sent to my friends prayer warriors last night.}

note: if you know me personally, I would love to add you to my email update list. just leave me a comment or shoot me an email to let me know. if you don't live nearby or are not an hpa person, for privacy reasons, I won't be able to add you. sorry.

Breath of Heaven

I had never heard this song until recently, when my piano teacher brought it for me to learn.

I. love. it. (just so we're clear on that.)

The music is gorgeous, so soft and delicate and the lyrics are strong and amazing. I'm posting the video and words below.

 Breath of Heaven

Amy Grant

I have traveled many moonless nights
Cold and weary with a babe inside
And I wonder what I've done
Holy Father, You have come
And chosen me now to carry Your Son

I am waiting in a silent prayer
I am frightened by the load I bear
In a world as cold as stone
Must I walk this path alone?
Be with me now, be with me now

Breath of Heaven, hold me together
Be forever near me, breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness
Pour over me Your holiness for You are holy
Breath of Heaven

Do you wonder as you watch my face
If a wiser one should have had my place?
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of Your plan
Help me be strong, help me be, help me

Breath of Heaven, hold me together
Be forever near me, breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness
Pour over me Your holiness for You are holy

Breath of Heaven, hold me together
Be forever near me, breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness
Pour over me Your holiness for You are holy
Breath of Heaven, breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven

Just Remember...

Source: craftily-ever-after.blogspot.com via Lindsey Marie on Pinterest

Rak Chazak

No words tonight. I've been watching Eric Ludy and God is speaking through him in so many ways in my life. Just take a look at this.

And be blessed.

My heart is full.

~L

After All the Hairspray Washes Out...

On Saturday, my family was so blessed to attend the wedding of Miss Elizabeth, our darling, gorgeous, assistant director for HPA. Now I haven't been to a wedding in 6-7 years, but I don't think I'm biased when I say that it had to have been one of the most beautiful weddings ever.

Now I don't have pictures. (Sorry, Josh!) I know, what blogger goes anywhere without her camera? Obviously this one. But one of my best friends took tons and I'll try to post some of those... maybe.

So today I'm counting wedding gifts, like so many others.

87. The thrills of excitement pulsing through out our house as we got ready

88. A new dress that I love

89. Hugs from the "D" family and Brooklyn as soon as we arrived

90. Josh escorting us to our seats really early, so we could sit and talk and plan and giggle.

91. Beautiful harp music 

92. Sarah Grace's encouraging words to the ring bearer and flower girls as they came down the aisle

 93. Beautiful vows

94. The bride and groom washing eachother's feet
95. The tears that were shed
96. In Christ Alone- I love that song!

97. Talking to Jenna back by the punch table.

98. Seeing friends who I hadn't seen in so long, such as Zach and Arie, Brooklyn, Libby, Genevieve, Mr. Cole and Annie.

99. Delicious cake :)

100. Hugging the bride
101. Utter happiness
102. The glee of our secret as we lined the halls
103. The look on Courtney's face when she squealed "Don't stop! Keep talking!"
104. The Wedding version of "So Long, Farewell" and "Farewell, Titanic"
105. The joy on their faces
106. The releasing of lanterns- in Tangled fashion
107. The screams and cheers and "We love you"s that followed their car
108. Goodbye hugs
109. A ride home

This painting made me smile, as I had two little three year olds watching me get ready. :)

I'm going to try to edit the song video we got and I'll try to get those pictures too! :)

People say...

People say that my Mom and I look alike.

 

 Maybe you agree?

:)

Where are you going?

{I read this today and was greatly blessed by it. I'm hoping you are too. It is by James Orr and I believe it is from the book, How to Live a Holy Life.}

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

We have only one life to live--only one. Think of this for a moment. Here we are in this world of time, making the journey of life. Each day we are farther from the cradle--and nearer to the grave! Solemn thought! See the mighty concourse of human lives; hear their heavy tread in their onward march. Some are just beginning life's journey; some are midway up the hill, some have reached the top, and some are midway down the western slope. But where are we all going? Listen, and you will hear but one answer, "Eternity!" Beyond the fading, dying gleams of the sunset of life--lies a boundless, endless ocean called Eternity! There, you and I are daily traveling.

Time is like a great wheel going its round. On and on it goes. Some are stepping on--and some are stepping off. But where are these latter stepping? Into eternity! See that old man with bent form, snow-white locks, and tottering steps. His has been a long round, but he has reached his end at last. See the middle-aged man. His round has not been so long, but he must also step off. See the youth. He has been on only a little while--but he is brought to the stepping-off place. He thought his round would be much longer. He supposed that he was just getting started--when that icy hand was laid upon him and the usher said, "Come, you have made your round, and you must go!" The infant that gave its first faint cry this morning--may utter its last feeble wail tonight. And thus they go. But where? Oh, where? Eternity!

If you were to start today and ask each person you met the question, "Where are you going?" and, if possible, you were to travel the world over and ask each one of earth's inhabitants--there could be but one answer, "Eternity!"

"Oh, eternity, Long eternity!
Hear the solemn footsteps of eternity!"

Only one life to live! Only one life--and then we must face vast, endless eternity! We shall pass along the pathway of life but once. Every step we take--is a step that can never be taken again.

This world is not a play-ground--or a place to trifle with time. Life is not given us to squander nor fritter away. To trifle away time, is indeed, to be the greatest of spendthrifts. If you squander a dollar--you may regain it; but a moment wasted--can never be regained. God gives us all the time we need to accomplish all that He purposes us to accomplish--but He does not give us one moment to trifle away.

We have only one life to live--only one.

A Simple Gift

Our World Vision Christmas gifts catalog came yesterday.

Since then, scarcely an hour as gone by with someone looking at it- whether it's K and I or the twins "finding the duck."

We've been "picking our presents" too. I'm thinking about a goat, while Kristin is considering some chickens. Nicholas -sweet thing- picked out the cow. I think he might be buying in on my goat though. :)

Have you received the catalog yet? It's really worth looking at and there's so much you can do; build a well, buy bicycles and school uniforms, plant fruit trees and dig fish ponds. You can provide a family with a whole farm or just an animal or two.

These gifts mean so much more then you could ever imagine. Tasting a fresh egg or warm milk for the first time is an experience that we would take for granted, but for a little boy in Africa, it might be just what he needs to press on- to know that his life is worth living and that he can make beauty out of the ashes.

And really? You can buy a set of chickens for the price of that scarf you were just looking at. {ahem.}

So click over. Let Jesus pull your heart towards what He wants you to give. Pray for these people. And then come back and tell me what you bought. 'cause I love hearing how my Savior works. :)

~L

Because some days...

Some days the school piles on and and siblings are angry and I just want to scream.

Some days my fingers hit the keys all wrong and the music that is supposed to come out doesn't.

Some day the pages of the Book seem dry and I just can't find the strength to go on.

But the friends pray. They text and they email, their hugs hold me tight, with simple words that mean so much.

Through Him... You can be strong.

And then...

Somedays the schedule works perfectly and the day ends with a sigh of satisfaction.

Somedays my music is beautiful again.

Somedays I can't get enough.

Somedays I am gleeful.

Somedays I miss them.

But every night before bed, as I look over my day, my week, my year,

I think to myself,

source

And Somedays?

That's all that matters.

A Night to Remember

It started with a simple conversation around the picnic table on August 31st. We were in a giddy mood because we were finally at camp, and it was showing itself in our speech. “Did you know that Abigail and Brian are eating dinner on top of the dune tonight and watching the sunset?” turned into “Today’s a really good day....” and then we started wedding plans. It was all in fun though, and we knew better then to expect anything. Soon it was sunset time and the whole idea was forgotten.

Time laughed and soon the sun was gone. Maddie, Arie and I searched for sea glass as the waves frolicked around our feet. Nan and Lid had gone back to camp when I saw Beagle and Brian with Mr. and Mrs. L___ walking towards the road. Being as impulsive as I am, and seeing as I hadn’t hugged her yet, I ran up and threw my arms around her. However, in less then a minute, I was summoned back to a growing group of girls and waved good bye.

A trip up the dunes was in the works, but I declined. I needed to stay with my “charges” and we told everyone to go on without us and have fun. After a bit more searching, we decided to stop at the restroom and then head back to camp.

As we rambled up the sand, Lidia came by on her bike and called, “Montanna has something to tell you.” My first thought was okay, we aren’t going swimming tonight. But then Nan came riding up and exclaimed, “Lindsey. Abigail’s engaged!”

I think I just stopped dead for a pure second, not contemplating what that really meant. Then... I screamed. and kicked off my shoes (have you tried running in flipflops?!?!?) and screamed again. Suddenly the dreams and plans of the past months had become a reality.

Jesus had worked so much though this whole night. Besides working out the perfect story between the newly-engaged couple, He kept me from climbing the dune with my other friends and in many other places I saw His hand.

Nan rode back for my shoes as I stumbled across two parking lots and a rough woodchip path. It only took a minute more of searching before I shrieked again and ran into her arms. In the brief period when time stood still, it had grown dark and she shone a flashlight on her hand so I could see her ring. It was gorgeous.

The rest of the night was a flurry of excitement and calling Katherine and Jeremy and Did you hear? Did you see it? AHHHH!! We finally settled down around W_____’s fire to let the news finally sink in; although the whole next week someone would exclaim “Guess what! Beagle’s engaged!!!!” and we would all shriek and scream again. But before the clock struck eleven, we headed for the bathrooms -finally!!- and then fell into bed. And we all knew that this camping trip could not be any more perfect.

Photo by Mrs. B

*Abigail is the sister of one of my very best friends, and she is an amazing, gorgeous woman of God. Montanna and I have been planning her wedding for months and we're all so excited to finally attend it this summer. I'm going to cry. and it will be beautiful. That's all I know. :)*

Little Women~ A Remembrance

This was written last December... Yes, I still do miss these people, but it's okay now. I've moved on, but the memories are still deliciously sweet. I'm so excited for this year and the memories that are to come. More on HPA soon. :)

Little Women has officially been over for a week.

Well, a week, a day, 11 hours and 34 minutes if you want to get technical.

But if you want the truth, it feels like months.

People say I have four more years ahead of me, but that’s not true. I’ll never have that cast again. I could go on about that fact for hours, but we’ll dwell on happier thoughts for the moment.

Little Women was amazing and I loved every minute. I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Those moments during a hour and a half dance practice where you do the same step over and over again? I want them back!

The times half way through a show when you just want to sleep? I want them back!

The times when you have to go to the bathroom because you drank 3 bottles of water but you have 80 costume pieces tied around you? I want them back!

Why? because it would mean that I was there. in C----------. with my cast. and we would be having the time of our lives.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I miss sitting in that back corner of the make-up room with Arie, Maddie, Breanne and Brooklyn.

I miss reading Rachel’s new book entitled Letters to Jeremy and watching other people die laughing over it.

I miss Betts’ inhumanly-quick (23 second) change that Alli and I had down-pat.

I miss Asia’s hugs and I miss whispering those little words of encouragement to her.

I miss opening the make-up room door to let cool air in while I pray for the previously mentioned person.

I miss talk of calories, crashing and burning, atrociousness, and joining the circus.

I miss the prayer that surrounded us and the pumping-it-up afterwards.

But most of all, I just miss the people. They are so wonderful and I was so blessed to be a part of them.

Little Women changed my life.

I will never be the same.

Lately

Lately... Life has been laid back.

We've done a lot of "home" things... the things that keep you busy and add excitement without having to go places.

It's been quiet (as quiet as a house full of 6 children can get) and peaceful. most of the time.

And it's been a learning time. I've been reading and studying lots, and my Bible is bringing me lots of new truths.

Not only reading and studying for fun, but looking for a HPA monologue too. :)

Now that school has started, I've got some great stuff for you all. Reflections, stories, and pictures from our summer, along with explanations as to what HPA is and why it means so much to me.

Coming soon... with all you in mind!

Older

I think about "older" lots.

Older means that I'm growing. Growing in ways that I can't always see. Growing to be older. Growing to learn more.

Growing to be more like Jesus.

At least, that's what I want to be doing. If we aren't growing towards Jesus, then we're growing the wrong direction.

I don't want to grow down. I want to grow up.

Up towards the Son.

Up towards that place where happiness and Love reigns forever.

I want to grow older in Jesus. And I might have a lot of time left on this earth. I might be Home tomorrow. But I want to use every minute, every second of this "growing older" to glorify Him.

If someone is reflecting on my life 1 year, 10 years, or even 100 years from now. I don't want them to see me.

I want them to see Him.

Because if they see Jesus through me, then I know that every tear, every pain, every hardship will be worth it.

If they see Jesus in me, I will have grown in Him.

And that is all I want to do with my life.

{writing prompt: Older}

{image source}

Hi! I'm Lindsey. Remember Me?...

So Hi! Again. I know I haven't been the best of bloggers lately, but I'm okay with that.

I have been really busy. My family just got back from a week-long camping trip (more on that soon.) and all the children in my family recently stayed with another family while my parents went to a nearby lake for the weekend.

On top of that, I've been finishing up my Algebra book (So Close!!), preparing for HPA auditions, and getting ready for my freshman year. Because before I know it, this is going to be upon us.

Source

Fall!

And I want these last days of summer to last as long as possible.

And another thing, it's been almost 3 years since these little girls entered the world...

and I am fearful that I am already missing so many little bits of their lives. I don't want to be the aloof big sister, who is always on the laptop and cell phone, or hanging out with her friends or upstairs with the door shut.

I want to be remembered as a loving, caring oldest sister, who was never too busy to make time for them.

And they are way more important then anything on my computer.

So yeah. Just a little update on my life and things I'm thinking about. I'll try to be back soon!

10th Anniversary Pictures

My Uncle and Aunt are celebrating their 10th wedding anniversary this month and while we were at the lake I took some pictures for them. I love how they turned out even though it was a bit sunny.

So what do you think? Our lake is so gorgeous; we are blessed!

This is Life

People can actually say that this is not a baby. 

That this is not life.

That this is a growth.

Is that what this looks like to you??!!

I am heartbroken when I think of all the babies who die everyday.

These babies are real.

These babies have hearts.

These babies have souls.

~~~~~~~~~~~

I didn't think our town was very big in the way of abortion.

I knew it happened at that dark, dismal place.

But I didn't know how bad it was.

In our own town.

Until one day,

My Mom came home from a dinner hosted by our local pregnancy care group.

And she told me.

Between 25 and 30 babies are killed every week.

In our own town.

Really??

Should this be happening??

NO!!!

But it is.

And it is something we need to fight.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Every few months, I give money to the previously mentioned pregnancy group.

Could I use this money in other ways?

Yes.

But this is more important.

More important then that new book.

More important then that new cd.

More important then that new outfit.

This is fighting for life.

~~~~~~~~~~~

I pray on Thursdays and Fridays,

when my town does abortions.

I am praying for life.

~~~~~~~~~~~

My family does the lifeWALK.

It's only two miles long.

Yet...

We are walking for life.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Life...

Life...

Life...

This is Life.

Will you help me battle?

Baby-sitting: A Blessing?

*Written in March 2010* 

Knock, knock. Running feet. A four-year-old opening the door. "Hi, Lindsey" The three-year-old running up with a hug ready. "Hi Lindsey" Then the sound of the little just-turned-one feet coming around the corner with his arms held high. This is what greeted me yesterday, around 3 months after my first baby-sitting job. When I'm with these three, I see life through their eyes. The fun of the sandbox. The delicate balance between swinging high and being too far off the ground. And with this happiness, I firmly believe that every girl should baby-sit.

    Some girls say the don't have enough time. Some say they don't know how to watch a little kid but three? Forget it! A sad fact is that some girls even consider children a pain. What kind of Mothers will these girls be when they grow up? Will they know how to take care of a house or will they know how to cook? Babysitting is a good start.

    When baby-sitting, it prepares you to watch children. You might be a teacher someday, or a nurse, and you need to know how to take care of little children and know how to respond to their feelings. You also learn how to take care of a house with a baby on your hip and how to engage a toddler in a pick-up game. And then there's nap-time. You learn to prioritize during nap-time (or rest-time) and you will be amazed by how much you can get done!

    My favorite part of baby-sitting is bonding with the children you watch. It's so fun to walk into a room and see a little round face grinning at you through the bars of his crib. Just having the little ones hug you is cute. I love it when they're talking and then they glance up to make sure you're still listening. Yup. I'm still here. I love being accepted by children; they have such an innocent trust.

    The blessings are so great when you baby-sit. You bless the mothers by giving them a bit of quiet in their otherwise-hectic days. You bless the children by giving them a new friend and by showing them you care. And you yourself are blessed, through blessing others. "It is more blessed to give then to receive"

    Mothers love to discover good Christian baby-sitters that they can trust and whom their precious children love. I adore my little 'children' and love being able to see them a lot. Don't you think you should give baby-sitting a try?

Blessed

I really am blessed.

I have friends who are truly amazing. I love them so much and what's more is that they love me.

They love me. I'm far from perfect. I definitely have my faults. I don't always answer emails on time. I sometimes leave them when they need me. I don't give them what they need. But still,

They love me.

Katherine and I

These are the friends who encourage me when I am down in the depths of despair.

Jeremy and I. He's the best "big brother" ever.

These are the friends who I can trust with my whole heart.

Lidia and I

These are the friends who lift me up in prayer and who are always positive and ready to tell me that Jesus is good.

Veronica and I

These are the friends I can get really hyper with. They've seen me at 2 in the morning and they still like me.

Anna and I

These are the friends who know that I wish I was there so they send me pictures.

 

These are the friends that hold me when I cry and recite scripture to me until I'm okay again.

She's engaged!!! So happy for her and her prince!!! (Miss Elizabeth and I)

These are the friends that come running down the road and jump into my arms when they haven't seen me in two whole weeks.

Katherine and I again. :)

These are the friends who share my love of photography.

These are the friends who share big family jokes with me,

Naomi and I

 and who brighten my day with their sweetness,

Genevieve and I

 These are the friends whose purpose in life is to give God all the glory.

Yes, I may not be perfect. Yes, I'm only 14. Yes, I have faults. But yes, Jesus is good. Yes, this is only a small portion of my friends. Yes, they are the best friends in the whole world. Yes, I know that Jesus is the Best Friend ever. Yes, these friends draw me so much closer to Him.

Yes, I am blessed.

This

Sometimes life gets busy.

You know the feeling when you feel as though there were things you should have done but didn't.

That book you wanted to finish.

That e-mail you wanted to send.

That closet you wanted to organize.

And what were you doing??

Writing for your blog. ;)

Watching TV.

Sleeping in. (I'm a firm believer in not sleeping in, as are my twin toddler sisters, but that's another story!)

So here I am, getting frustrated at myself for not getting done the "important" things.

But then I remember what really counts.

This.

The back of our "homeschooler" van :)

Thankful for You

(This poem was written a few months ago during a scary experience one of my mom's best friends had. Their little one-year-old is like my little brother and we prayed so much during these dark days. Jesus healed him and he is now a jolly two-year-old!)

It was a cold winter’s night
We were happy and free
When the phone rang and all seemed okay
Then Dad said “We’re praying,
And we’re here if you need us.”
Then I tried to keep the tears at bay.

To...
Laugh at your rosy cheeks,
Spot the twinkle in your eye,
Watch you play around,
I’d try not to cry.
To hold you in my arms,
and call you mine,
To think that you
are completely fine.
What I wouldn’t give...

Right now.

At this moment in time
My mind’s flyin’
In a thousand different ways.
Toward memories and what-ifs
And “How many more days?”

So I kneel down to pray
And God takes the pain away
My heartbeat’s finally slowin’ down
A few deep breaths
And my thoughts go back
To the hospital across town.

{Entering in Abby's contest}

My friends are so encouraging!

"Satan will only attack you if it is something that the Lord wants you to do.  Or something that can be used to bring him glory.  Take the trial as a blessing!  It happens to everyone...  You are not alone!"

 I hope you find some inspiration in this quote from an email I received last night. Veronica is one of my role models. She loves Jesus so much and is always ready to give a hug and a sweet smile. I love her so much!!