Turning the Page

two thousand thirteen

It was a crazy,

wonderful,

hard,

amazing,

blessing-filled

year.

One of my favorite verses this year (and consequently, one of my favorite things I memorized) was Isaiah 43:1-4. 

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
    I have called you by name, you are mine. 

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
    and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
    and the flame shall not consume you.

For I am the Lord your God,
    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior...
You are precious in my eyes,
    and honored, and I love you..."

Isn't it beautiful?? These four verses have been SUCH a blessing. God has used them to help me so much, in so many circumstances. I've texted them to friends, written them on school papers, recited them in family devotions and while driving down the road and standing in Lake Michigan with the waves washing over my feet. God speaks to me every time.

I definitely want- need- to read and memorize more Scripture this year. I don't have firm goals in this area yet, but I definitely want to do indepth study of the NT letters and want to memorize several passages and/or chapters. So excited to see what God will teach me this year!!

~~~

We sang this song in church this summer and I've loved it ever since.I've sung this one in northern MI, southern CA, and everywhere in between. There's nothing like belting "Jesus, ONLY Jesus!" in Satan's face in moments of attack.

Our family thrives on music. We have Christian music playing every day, and I love it. I would love to solidify some basic guitar chords so that I can pick up my guitar and worship God, instead of strumming away with no purpose.

~~~

Favorite Blog Posts of 2013:

The Day After Easter

I Will Write

Sea Breezes

On Weddings, Babies, and Never-Ending Highschool

My goals for this little blog include a good long heart post once a month, along with a short post with a few thoughts, verses and pictures every few weeks. I love to write, and I want to keep it a priority in the craziness of transcripts and starting my senior year and such.

~~~

I read 163 books last year. Some were for school, some were fun "fluff," some were children's chapter books, and some were good uplifting nonfiction. My favorites were:

Speak Love

Graceful

Duncan's War

Bittersweet

Bread and Wine

The Kingdom Series

Thrive

 I know I won't be able to read as much this year. School and working and school (and honestly, facebook) have taken up much of my time. My goal is 75 books right now, and I hope that I'll be able to prioritize my time to read that many.

~~~

I don't know what things God is going to do in my life this year. 

I know there will be hard moments. 

There will be I-can-hardly-breathe-this-is-so-perfect moments.

I'll cry.

I'll laugh.

God will choose to let some of my plans for my life come into being.

He'll also choose to remove some of them for something better.

He may take me home to heaven this year.

What He does, I'm choosing to to intentionally live every moment to the fullest, putting God above all, people above things, enrichment over mindless surfing, health over ease. I'm SO thankful that NEVER ONCE will I ever walk alone, that my God will "never leave [me] or forsake [me]."

Bring it on, 2014. 

I've got the King of the world on my side.

A Long-Needed Update

I've been scared to update on my last post... scared to tell you all that things are going better for fear they'll take a turn for the worse and scared to tell you that things are still bad because they really aren't and I'm just.so.blessed. But honestly, I don't know how to start to tell you.

Do I tell you about how the pain slowly dulled and is now nearly gone?? How I disobeyed God and how that didn't go so well?? How I have amazing friends and family that helped me through? How since then, I've experienced the blessings of God in full abundance pouring down on me?

It's been such a growing year for me. I've experienced school and lots of it. People told me that the junior year was heavy, and it's true. Chemistry, Advanced Math, American History and Biblical Worldview don't give me a lot of time, but God keeps reminding me that this is where He has me in life, to learn and study and work hard. And it's all going really well. My days are full, but they aren't overwhelming. God helps me every day.

HPA has been interesting. Every year is such an adjustment, and every year I think is really hard... until the next year. I've learned (and been reminded of), thus far: 1. God works everything out for good. 2. Singing alto is a really fun challenge. 3. True friends make time to listen and remember to check on you. 4. If you hurt someone- even accidentally- apologize right away. You have no idea how much pain can be prevented that way. 5. Saying "No, God, I don't really like that idea." and doing it anyway doesn't end prettily. 6. God loves to bless those who follow Him.

I've had to let go of friends that promised we'd stay together, and God has grown friendships that completely bless my socks off. No words to explain this. He's given me a friend who lets me call her anytime, totally is big-sister protective, and mentors me through life; another who makes me laugh, who cares and listens, and who always brings me back to God; and still another who never runs out of things to talk to me about, who can finish my sentences and with whom I can laugh hysterically about nothing with and who is always a text away from a prayer request.

And finally, everything for me goes back to God and the cross. It has been truly incredible to watch Him work in my life, and to realize that He is really always there, caring, loving, waiting. Prayer after prayer, He has revealed Himself to me, and I'm such an awful Christian- so unworthy to even bear that title- but He loves me anyway. He died to save me, to offer me and you and everyone the undeserved, ultimate grace. These last few weeks, so often I've stood in awe of His holiness, His perfection. It never gets old.

And at the end of this long, rambling blog post, that's what I want you to go away with.

God is good. 

He came to earth. 

He died. 

He rose. 

He is holy. 

He is King.

Jesus, I am Yours.

More soon, friends. ♥

A Year Ago Today {Nicholas's Hospital Story}

A year ago today, June 5th, 2012, started normally. It didn’t end that way.

That Tuesday started one of the craziest weeks of our lives, and we couldn’t have made it through without the support of some very special people.

To you who cleaned our house, filled our fridge, organized our towel drawer and brought us dinners,

Who stayed with us at different points, took the kiddos to swimming and me to driver ed,

Who occupied the girls, did our laundry and let me cry in the car,

Who texted me over and over, and let me vent,

Who sent us encouraging emails, texts and Facebook messages, and let us know you cared,

Who visited Nicholas in the hospital, prayed over him, and let my momma have a water break,

Who prayed,

Thank you. I can’t express how much you mean to us all. Your prayers, words, and help mattered- to Mom at the hospital, Dad in Ohio, and me home with all the girls. We couldn’t have made it without you and we firmly believe that Nicholas is healed today because of the healing power of our Heavenly Father. Your prayers made a difference.

Nicholas’s story is below, for those who might wish to read it.

God is good.

~~~
It’s a basic Tuesday morning and my mom is out running when my sister comes in and tells me that my brother can’t get out of bed. I go in and basically tell him to swing his legs around and climb down. It seems like a minor bump to a “normal” day. An hour or two later, he’s still complaining about his leg when I leave for Driver’s Ed.

Later in the day, he’s still in a ton of pain- and Kristin is still hobbling around from her hurt toe she got at soccer the night before. After dinner, Mom takes them both to the urgent care clinic, and I stay home with the little ones. She brings them home around 9:30- Kristin with a jammed toe and Nicholas undiagnosed. They think that possibly he has an appendix on the other side and that maybe he has appendicitis. We’re told to go the the E.R. if his pain gets worse or if he throws up. It’s a hard process to get him up the stairs and into bed.

The next morning, he “thinks it feels a little better.” I go off to driver’s ed again, after making Momma promise several times to text me updates. He gets worse throughout the day, and once piano lessons are over, Mom decides to take him in. Getting him into the car is difficult; he’s in so much pain that he can’t move his leg or hip without crying. We all cry a little watching him cry as they drive away.

Mom calls every few hours to give us updates, and the doctors don’t seem to know exactly what is wrong. First they say it’s appendicitis, then a badly pulled muscle, then a bacterial infection of the hip. It’s hard to wait, not knowing. Anna and Libby get a lot of texts, and their prayers and assurance is such a blessing. The doctors decide to admit him overnight and Mrs. W and Carson come over to spend the night with us and bring food. Dad leaves Ohio at 3 in the morning so that he can be at [the hospital] by 9. We think there’s a lot of long, painful tests ahead, and Dad wants to be there for Nick, for Mom, and for us.

I have to leave the house at 7:15 to drive the next day, and Mom texts while I’m at class that it’s a viral infection called Toxic Synovitis. They come home around 3, and he’s still limping, but so much better. He’s home, and we all think that life will go back to normal again. It doesn’t.

~~~

It’s around 8:30 the next morning when the phone rings. Mom answers it, gets a funny look on her face, and goes into the office to talk. A few minutes later, she comes back in to tell me that the doctor called and that they found staph infection in Nicholas’s blood- in both samples they sent in to test. The doctors need him to come back to the hospital right away. His appointment for 4 o’clock that afternoon is too late.

When Momma tells him, he cries, “You mean I have to go back and get more blood tests?” He’d had 7 blood tests and 3 ivs already in the past 24 hours. Mom texts Anna from church to come stay with the kids, and I have to get ready to leave for Driver’s Ed. At this point, I begin to think that driving is a little overrated.

Mrs. S comes to pick me up, and Mom comes out to the van to tell her. Then Mom starts crying, I start crying and Mrs. S starts praying. It’s a few minutes before we leave our driveway. Everyone in the car and at class was so sweet, but I think that was the longest class in history. I get home to a counter full of food, a clean house, and the kids just getting home from swimming lessons. I strongly believe we have the best friends in the world.

The doctors do an echocardiogram of Nicholas’s heart to make sure the staph isn’t infecting it, and it comes back fine. Ws pick us up and take us to a little party that's been planned for a few weeks, and we pray for Nicholas while we’re there. We’re told that the doctors will do one more test to make sure he’s positive, and then they will start him on iv antibiotics for a week or two. If he responds well to those, they’d send him home with a PIC line for another two to four weeks. I email and text to get others praying, and Mom and Dad do the same. Satan starts whispering, “You know how you planned to...” and “How will you do/go ___ with Nick attached to medical lines all day?” We keep praying. Satan goes away.

We all get to go visit Nicholas at the hospital the next morning, and then Anna takes us home. We’re supposed to get the test results around 12, and Dad and Mom don’t want us there. It’s closer to one when a doctor comes in and tells them. “There’s absolutely no traces of staph in his blood. There’s no explanation for this. I just can’t understand it.”

We do. Our God is good.

Every Time I Turn It On...

Andy, Asia, myself & Beth | Sometime between 12 and 1 in the morning | February 10th, 2013

This is the picture that I see every time I turn on the computer.

I love it, but not just because it's a picture of a few of my dear friends.

I love it because it's a picture of the power of Jesus, the work of His hands.

I love it because it shows a healthy, healed Asia.

I love it because though Andy is sick, he's still smiling and still proclaiming that God is good.

I love it because Beth and I are standing together, like we did for 3 weeks straight.

I love it because this group- we prayed together every day, all the time.

I love it because though we all had bad days, though we all were tired and messy, we stood by each others' side through it all.

I love it because we laughed and cried, worshiped, sang, and prayed- together.

I love it because we fell on the rock of Jesus Christ everyday, and clung to it for precious refuge.

I love it because we got to work together all year long, and watch so many God stories of Asia's senior year.

I love it because it brings back so many memories of one of us going to another and exclaiming, "Guess what God just did!"

And I love it because each of them showed me the love of Jesus, and I praise Him that we got to be His hands and feet to each other every day.

I love it, because I am blessed.

(Yes, My Fair Lady closed back in February, and I'm just now writing about it. Better late than never. :) I've been waiting to post until I had more pictures (*hint* you know who you are), but I decided to go ahead with just this one.)

Little Women~ A Remembrance

This was written last December... Yes, I still do miss these people, but it's okay now. I've moved on, but the memories are still deliciously sweet. I'm so excited for this year and the memories that are to come. More on HPA soon. :)

Little Women has officially been over for a week.

Well, a week, a day, 11 hours and 34 minutes if you want to get technical.

But if you want the truth, it feels like months.

People say I have four more years ahead of me, but that’s not true. I’ll never have that cast again. I could go on about that fact for hours, but we’ll dwell on happier thoughts for the moment.

Little Women was amazing and I loved every minute. I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Those moments during a hour and a half dance practice where you do the same step over and over again? I want them back!

The times half way through a show when you just want to sleep? I want them back!

The times when you have to go to the bathroom because you drank 3 bottles of water but you have 80 costume pieces tied around you? I want them back!

Why? because it would mean that I was there. in C----------. with my cast. and we would be having the time of our lives.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I miss sitting in that back corner of the make-up room with Arie, Maddie, Breanne and Brooklyn.

I miss reading Rachel’s new book entitled Letters to Jeremy and watching other people die laughing over it.

I miss Betts’ inhumanly-quick (23 second) change that Alli and I had down-pat.

I miss Asia’s hugs and I miss whispering those little words of encouragement to her.

I miss opening the make-up room door to let cool air in while I pray for the previously mentioned person.

I miss talk of calories, crashing and burning, atrociousness, and joining the circus.

I miss the prayer that surrounded us and the pumping-it-up afterwards.

But most of all, I just miss the people. They are so wonderful and I was so blessed to be a part of them.

Little Women changed my life.

I will never be the same.

Blessed

I really am blessed.

I have friends who are truly amazing. I love them so much and what's more is that they love me.

They love me. I'm far from perfect. I definitely have my faults. I don't always answer emails on time. I sometimes leave them when they need me. I don't give them what they need. But still,

They love me.

Katherine and I

These are the friends who encourage me when I am down in the depths of despair.

Jeremy and I. He's the best "big brother" ever.

These are the friends who I can trust with my whole heart.

Lidia and I

These are the friends who lift me up in prayer and who are always positive and ready to tell me that Jesus is good.

Veronica and I

These are the friends I can get really hyper with. They've seen me at 2 in the morning and they still like me.

Anna and I

These are the friends who know that I wish I was there so they send me pictures.

 

These are the friends that hold me when I cry and recite scripture to me until I'm okay again.

She's engaged!!! So happy for her and her prince!!! (Miss Elizabeth and I)

These are the friends that come running down the road and jump into my arms when they haven't seen me in two whole weeks.

Katherine and I again. :)

These are the friends who share my love of photography.

These are the friends who share big family jokes with me,

Naomi and I

 and who brighten my day with their sweetness,

Genevieve and I

 These are the friends whose purpose in life is to give God all the glory.

Yes, I may not be perfect. Yes, I'm only 14. Yes, I have faults. But yes, Jesus is good. Yes, this is only a small portion of my friends. Yes, they are the best friends in the whole world. Yes, I know that Jesus is the Best Friend ever. Yes, these friends draw me so much closer to Him.

Yes, I am blessed.