Monday, January 28, 2013

Are You Really Okay?

We're standing in the dusk of backstage left when her searching eyes look into mine. "Linds, are you okay?"

I jump to assure her that I am, that I'm "fine."
Her eyes pierce deeper. "You hide things."

I know. oh, how I know.

"I hope you do tell things to some one."


Her words haunt me for the rest of the night and into the next morning.  She's right. I hide things deep, shovel "I'm fine"s on top, because I'm scared of being hurt. again.

She won't hurt me. She loves me. She's my friend.

And she's worth the truth.
It's easy to feel like she won't care, but she does.

It's so easy to feel like she's too busy, has too much stress to handle my little problems. I mean, she's Eliza! in My Fair Lady! She has enough to think about.

But the truth is, I'm hurting her by my hiding.

I only have a week and a half left of this show with her, before she's graduated from HPA forever.

Do I really want this last show to be tainted with my lies? Or will I share, deepen our trust?

It's in the dark of night that I resolve.

And when I see her in a few hours, after we hug and she tells me how practice has gone so far, when she looks into my eyes and asks "And how are you?"

She's going to get the truth.

The whole truth.

Every time.

Because she's worth it.