Begin & End

We started building a house last week.

We've been in the process for two and a half years, but it really feels like my whole life because "when we build our house" was always on the horizon.

It feels like that's the way a lot of my life is going right now. This is the time we've been talking about and to which everything's been leading up. I'm a senior in high school. That means this is my last summer of youth. My last year of HPA, co-op, piano. This is my last summer in this house. The last summer to run these specific roads in the morning. The last summer to sit alone on the tree swing as the sun sets.The last summer to make jam in this kitchen. The last fall to pull in and out of this driveway. The last fall to die of laughter in our kitchen over huge Carmel apples causing mouth problems. The last fall to watch these leaves change. The last fall to start a new highschool journal on the first Tuesday of September.

Last.

Last.

Last.

I hate lasts.
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There's also a bunch of beginnings.

First time registering for classes. First time attending college. First time I'm fully responsible. First time I really have to decide what to do with my life. First time driving to school. First time driving the carpool to HPA. First time being a really truly "big kid." First time planning to graduate. First time to wonder about a after-school job.

First.

First.

First.

Sometimes, I think I hate firsts too.

If you haven't picked up on this yet, I'm a person of routine and order. I am usually content to keep things the way they are. Let's just perform this show every weekend for forever. Let's not start that new class. I don't want to drive on that new road. I like the group of people I hang out with now.

But we can never move ahead into all the fantastic blessings God has for us if we stayed in the past.

This means things have to change.

And we all know how I feel about change.

I had coffee with a friend last Friday and we discussed how wonderful it is that in the midst of our chaotic, crazy, ever-changing lives, God never changes. (Malachi 3:6, James 1:17, Psalm 102:27)

Ever.

I think as teenagers/young adults, when our life plans and friends and dreams and goals are changing faster than we can come to grip with it all, this is especially reassuring. My life feels like it is spiraling out of control so very often, but God never changes. My house may change, my plans may change, my friends may change, my job may change, but God remains the same faithful, holy, perfect, loving, all-knowing God that He always has been and always will be.

As a Christian, who you are to Him doesn't change either. As long as you continue loving and following Him, repenting and confessing your sin, He will hold you securely (1 John 5:18). Your world can be turning upside down, but He holds you in His hands, protecting you, shielding you, loving you, covering you with His wings.

For me, in the midst of so many beginnings and endings and I-don't-even-know!s, this is the ultimate reassurance. Wherever I'm going, whatever I'm doing, however life is changing moment by moment, these three things remain the same.

My God never changes.
He is always faithful.
He loves me, insecurities, unknowns, mistakes and all.

The same is true for you.

Yes, you. I might know you and I might not. But I do know this.

He loves you.

No matter how you messed up last year, last week, yesterday, this morning, no matter how much you doubt, He still loves you. He created you and you are His. Run to His unchanging arms today, friends, and let Him give you peace.

Turning the Page

two thousand thirteen

It was a crazy,

wonderful,

hard,

amazing,

blessing-filled

year.

One of my favorite verses this year (and consequently, one of my favorite things I memorized) was Isaiah 43:1-4. 

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
    I have called you by name, you are mine. 

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
    and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
    and the flame shall not consume you.

For I am the Lord your God,
    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior...
You are precious in my eyes,
    and honored, and I love you..."

Isn't it beautiful?? These four verses have been SUCH a blessing. God has used them to help me so much, in so many circumstances. I've texted them to friends, written them on school papers, recited them in family devotions and while driving down the road and standing in Lake Michigan with the waves washing over my feet. God speaks to me every time.

I definitely want- need- to read and memorize more Scripture this year. I don't have firm goals in this area yet, but I definitely want to do indepth study of the NT letters and want to memorize several passages and/or chapters. So excited to see what God will teach me this year!!

~~~

We sang this song in church this summer and I've loved it ever since.I've sung this one in northern MI, southern CA, and everywhere in between. There's nothing like belting "Jesus, ONLY Jesus!" in Satan's face in moments of attack.

Our family thrives on music. We have Christian music playing every day, and I love it. I would love to solidify some basic guitar chords so that I can pick up my guitar and worship God, instead of strumming away with no purpose.

~~~

Favorite Blog Posts of 2013:

The Day After Easter

I Will Write

Sea Breezes

On Weddings, Babies, and Never-Ending Highschool

My goals for this little blog include a good long heart post once a month, along with a short post with a few thoughts, verses and pictures every few weeks. I love to write, and I want to keep it a priority in the craziness of transcripts and starting my senior year and such.

~~~

I read 163 books last year. Some were for school, some were fun "fluff," some were children's chapter books, and some were good uplifting nonfiction. My favorites were:

Speak Love

Graceful

Duncan's War

Bittersweet

Bread and Wine

The Kingdom Series

Thrive

 I know I won't be able to read as much this year. School and working and school (and honestly, facebook) have taken up much of my time. My goal is 75 books right now, and I hope that I'll be able to prioritize my time to read that many.

~~~

I don't know what things God is going to do in my life this year. 

I know there will be hard moments. 

There will be I-can-hardly-breathe-this-is-so-perfect moments.

I'll cry.

I'll laugh.

God will choose to let some of my plans for my life come into being.

He'll also choose to remove some of them for something better.

He may take me home to heaven this year.

What He does, I'm choosing to to intentionally live every moment to the fullest, putting God above all, people above things, enrichment over mindless surfing, health over ease. I'm SO thankful that NEVER ONCE will I ever walk alone, that my God will "never leave [me] or forsake [me]."

Bring it on, 2014. 

I've got the King of the world on my side.

Prayer- It Works!

Don’t ever tell me that prayer doesn’t work.

Jesus uses it to work miracles.
~~~~~~~
I don’t know if you know how much work it takes to design lights for a show. It takes hours. Hours and hours of dedicated, intense work sitting over a computer and running back and forth changing light bulbs and checking scripts. For Wonka, we have three geniuses who designed the lights: Breilen, Peter and Adam. They have put in over 20 hours and we are all so thankful.
~~~~~~
A few days ago, I was helping Adam finish up a few final light cues for the hour as people practicing swirled around us. He and Breilen had already worked for over 3 hours that morning and we were crossing one more thing off the never-ending list. Adam was typing in the final cue when a message flashed onto the screen.

EON has encountered a problem and needs to close.

“No way.” Adam whispered as my pulse picked up. He kept up the whispered “This is not happening!” as he began pushing buttons and when the system rebooted, nothing was there.

The song floated through my head “If we’ve ever needed you, Lord, it’s now.”

His face drained of any color, Adam sent his chair flying. “I need to go get Breilen.”

Me? I sat there and prayed, prayed harder then I ever had for a computer system and a bunch of lightbulbs.

A few minutes later, Adam and Breilen were there again. Breilen sat down-he too a bit paler then usual. At his first move of the mouse, the screen lit up and cues filled the space we all stared so hard at.

“Well... I think I see everything...” Breilen glanced at each of us, a bit puzzled.

“That was so not there a few minutes ago.” Adam choked out. Glancing at me, they knelt around the board, watching all their morning work load before their eyes.

As Breilen went back to practice, (the show’s kinda named after him, he’s Willy Wonka!) I looked up into Adam’s face towering above me.

“I was praying so hard... Jesus is here, Adam. He’s watching out for us.”

I can still hear Adam’s reply, his voice still a bit trembly as his fingers took a break from pushing all the save buttons.

“Lindsey, I think that’s what saved us because both you and I know... Our work was gone. He really is good.”

~~~~~

Yes, Adam. He really is.

Where are you going?

{I read this today and was greatly blessed by it. I'm hoping you are too. It is by James Orr and I believe it is from the book, How to Live a Holy Life.}

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

We have only one life to live--only one. Think of this for a moment. Here we are in this world of time, making the journey of life. Each day we are farther from the cradle--and nearer to the grave! Solemn thought! See the mighty concourse of human lives; hear their heavy tread in their onward march. Some are just beginning life's journey; some are midway up the hill, some have reached the top, and some are midway down the western slope. But where are we all going? Listen, and you will hear but one answer, "Eternity!" Beyond the fading, dying gleams of the sunset of life--lies a boundless, endless ocean called Eternity! There, you and I are daily traveling.

Time is like a great wheel going its round. On and on it goes. Some are stepping on--and some are stepping off. But where are these latter stepping? Into eternity! See that old man with bent form, snow-white locks, and tottering steps. His has been a long round, but he has reached his end at last. See the middle-aged man. His round has not been so long, but he must also step off. See the youth. He has been on only a little while--but he is brought to the stepping-off place. He thought his round would be much longer. He supposed that he was just getting started--when that icy hand was laid upon him and the usher said, "Come, you have made your round, and you must go!" The infant that gave its first faint cry this morning--may utter its last feeble wail tonight. And thus they go. But where? Oh, where? Eternity!

If you were to start today and ask each person you met the question, "Where are you going?" and, if possible, you were to travel the world over and ask each one of earth's inhabitants--there could be but one answer, "Eternity!"

"Oh, eternity, Long eternity!
Hear the solemn footsteps of eternity!"

Only one life to live! Only one life--and then we must face vast, endless eternity! We shall pass along the pathway of life but once. Every step we take--is a step that can never be taken again.

This world is not a play-ground--or a place to trifle with time. Life is not given us to squander nor fritter away. To trifle away time, is indeed, to be the greatest of spendthrifts. If you squander a dollar--you may regain it; but a moment wasted--can never be regained. God gives us all the time we need to accomplish all that He purposes us to accomplish--but He does not give us one moment to trifle away.

We have only one life to live--only one.

Because some days...

Some days the school piles on and and siblings are angry and I just want to scream.

Some days my fingers hit the keys all wrong and the music that is supposed to come out doesn't.

Some day the pages of the Book seem dry and I just can't find the strength to go on.

But the friends pray. They text and they email, their hugs hold me tight, with simple words that mean so much.

Through Him... You can be strong.

And then...

Somedays the schedule works perfectly and the day ends with a sigh of satisfaction.

Somedays my music is beautiful again.

Somedays I can't get enough.

Somedays I am gleeful.

Somedays I miss them.

But every night before bed, as I look over my day, my week, my year,

I think to myself,

source

And Somedays?

That's all that matters.

Little Women~ A Remembrance

This was written last December... Yes, I still do miss these people, but it's okay now. I've moved on, but the memories are still deliciously sweet. I'm so excited for this year and the memories that are to come. More on HPA soon. :)

Little Women has officially been over for a week.

Well, a week, a day, 11 hours and 34 minutes if you want to get technical.

But if you want the truth, it feels like months.

People say I have four more years ahead of me, but that’s not true. I’ll never have that cast again. I could go on about that fact for hours, but we’ll dwell on happier thoughts for the moment.

Little Women was amazing and I loved every minute. I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Those moments during a hour and a half dance practice where you do the same step over and over again? I want them back!

The times half way through a show when you just want to sleep? I want them back!

The times when you have to go to the bathroom because you drank 3 bottles of water but you have 80 costume pieces tied around you? I want them back!

Why? because it would mean that I was there. in C----------. with my cast. and we would be having the time of our lives.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I miss sitting in that back corner of the make-up room with Arie, Maddie, Breanne and Brooklyn.

I miss reading Rachel’s new book entitled Letters to Jeremy and watching other people die laughing over it.

I miss Betts’ inhumanly-quick (23 second) change that Alli and I had down-pat.

I miss Asia’s hugs and I miss whispering those little words of encouragement to her.

I miss opening the make-up room door to let cool air in while I pray for the previously mentioned person.

I miss talk of calories, crashing and burning, atrociousness, and joining the circus.

I miss the prayer that surrounded us and the pumping-it-up afterwards.

But most of all, I just miss the people. They are so wonderful and I was so blessed to be a part of them.

Little Women changed my life.

I will never be the same.

Best Friend

I want you to think for a minute.

Think about your best friend.

Does your heart swell up with love?

Does a smile come to your face and a light to your eyes?

Do you want to praise them up to every one?

This is the way we should feel about Jesus Christ. He should be our best friend.

Our heart should swell with love for Him.

We should smile and our eyes should be bright because of Him.

We should want to praise Him up and tell everyone about Him. Our Best Friend.

"...but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." {Proverbs 18:24}