All Things

I know, I know. Philippians 4:13 is one of those almost "over" quoted verses. Even if you don't know the reference, you know the verse.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

For years, I've been guilty of passing and brushing off these powerful ten words from Paul's letter.

"That's a newbie verse. Is that really true? I mean, I know it's in the Bible, but still... All things??"

Last December, I had what was look to be a stretching, slightly overwhelming weekend ahead of me and I was discussing it with a friend of mine. He told me to remember that as Christians, we can do all things through the strength of Christ inside us. We on our own are so weak and so incapable, but the Holy Spirit is inside us, which means His strength is inside us. How amazing is that?!? 

We discussed this for several minutes, and it totally gave me a new perspective on that verse. I mulled over these words for several hours that night, thinking of them as this-could-be-overwhelming weekend started in my life.

God wouldn't let these words leave my heart.

Finally, I found a note card and wrote them- letters swirling across the page. I then hung this card on the refrigerator where it reminded me constantly over the next three days, all things. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Since that conversation, I've thought so often about that simple phrase. All things.  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. So many situations have been strengthened by the simple words. My friend and I remind each other of them anytime we're in a challenging situation; big tests, long days when we're at the theater from 9AM to 3AM performing two shows and striking, huge spiritual battles, or just a hard day. I've picked up that notecard, traced the letter so many times.

all things.

He lives in me.

I wonder sometimes how this could change the way we live. How would our lives be different if we lived truly believing we could do all things through the Holy Spirit residing in us? Would you live more daring, free, willing to risk the things that don't really matter for the things that do? I know I would. Would you write the book, sing the song, speak the words, take the trip, do these things that we are so terrified to simply do? Taking this step could truly change our lives if we really believed "I can do all things-all things- through Christ who strengthens me."

But more than just the "big" things in life, how could these words change the ordinary things we do? How could "all things" give you the strength to wash the dishes one more time, to do one more math lesson, to pick up the toys once more?

These words can help us cook one more dinner, have one more hard conversation, drive to one more place- anything- if we just claimed them and believed- believed in their power, in their truth, in the way that they proclaim Christ is in us and that we don't have to be afraid, that we can accomplish anything in his desire for us just by accepting his strength in our lives.

Think about it once more.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

How will you live like you believe it today?

A Long-Needed Update

I've been scared to update on my last post... scared to tell you all that things are going better for fear they'll take a turn for the worse and scared to tell you that things are still bad because they really aren't and I'm just.so.blessed. But honestly, I don't know how to start to tell you.

Do I tell you about how the pain slowly dulled and is now nearly gone?? How I disobeyed God and how that didn't go so well?? How I have amazing friends and family that helped me through? How since then, I've experienced the blessings of God in full abundance pouring down on me?

It's been such a growing year for me. I've experienced school and lots of it. People told me that the junior year was heavy, and it's true. Chemistry, Advanced Math, American History and Biblical Worldview don't give me a lot of time, but God keeps reminding me that this is where He has me in life, to learn and study and work hard. And it's all going really well. My days are full, but they aren't overwhelming. God helps me every day.

HPA has been interesting. Every year is such an adjustment, and every year I think is really hard... until the next year. I've learned (and been reminded of), thus far: 1. God works everything out for good. 2. Singing alto is a really fun challenge. 3. True friends make time to listen and remember to check on you. 4. If you hurt someone- even accidentally- apologize right away. You have no idea how much pain can be prevented that way. 5. Saying "No, God, I don't really like that idea." and doing it anyway doesn't end prettily. 6. God loves to bless those who follow Him.

I've had to let go of friends that promised we'd stay together, and God has grown friendships that completely bless my socks off. No words to explain this. He's given me a friend who lets me call her anytime, totally is big-sister protective, and mentors me through life; another who makes me laugh, who cares and listens, and who always brings me back to God; and still another who never runs out of things to talk to me about, who can finish my sentences and with whom I can laugh hysterically about nothing with and who is always a text away from a prayer request.

And finally, everything for me goes back to God and the cross. It has been truly incredible to watch Him work in my life, and to realize that He is really always there, caring, loving, waiting. Prayer after prayer, He has revealed Himself to me, and I'm such an awful Christian- so unworthy to even bear that title- but He loves me anyway. He died to save me, to offer me and you and everyone the undeserved, ultimate grace. These last few weeks, so often I've stood in awe of His holiness, His perfection. It never gets old.

And at the end of this long, rambling blog post, that's what I want you to go away with.

God is good. 

He came to earth. 

He died. 

He rose. 

He is holy. 

He is King.

Jesus, I am Yours.

More soon, friends. ♥

Crashing Down

I think most people have a family. Not a flesh-and-blood, blue eyes, midwest drawl family, but a family of people that you surround yourself with when your mom and dad and sisters and brother can't be there. Theater's my thing and I've been so blessed over the years to have had some wonderful families there.

The devotion teams stand out the most. Each year, the directors pick 4-8 people to give devotions and lead the cast. We're selected, but it's more than that. We're a family. During Fiddler on the Roof, we were all trying to figure out exactly how to do this devotions and family thing, but my My Fair Lady team was incredible. We were all super close, we prayed and talked and encouraged and laughed all the time.

And I've been ready for this year. I had plans and dreams, ideas and devotions, all planned and ready to talk to that new team- my new family- about. Honestly, in my head, I was picking them out too.

"Okay, God, can I have Tim and Andy and Chase and Jamie and Abby and Ashlea and Christianna? Thanks."

Before auditions, I spent some time down on my grandparents' dock. And righ there in my journal, I wrote,

"So right here, God, I dedicate HPA this year to you. I'm placing my role, my cast, my committee, my friends, and my life in your hands. I give it all to You. There is no place I'd rather be than YOUR perfect plan. I am Yours. Use me, Lord."

Did you catch that little part there about my committee? The words sound nice, but they really meant, "God, I'll let You decide which devotion committee I'm on this year. I guess I'm okay with either one." It wasn't real submission, probably because I never had any thoughts about not being on the team. I'd been for the past two years, and I was a strong Christian with a desire to do it. I full-out adored it. I thought that was enough.

It wasn't. God had other plans and other lesson for my life. The cast and committee lists came out and the hardest part of that day wasn't the "oh, she and she and he and they aren't in my show." or even the "Okay, God, I guess I'll do the small, girl-group chorus again." It was reading those lists, seeing those committees, and knowing that they were a family. And I wasn't in it.

Call me crazy, but I've grieved the loss of this never-was-mine family. I denied for a bit that this was the truth, thinking, hoping, pulling at any last straw, "It's just a mistake. ____ will email me any time telling me that they mixed up the lists." Then it hit me and I was mad, upset that they could give "my" place to someone else.

God's been teaching me so much, though. It's humbling to have to answer people's "What committ- oh, right, you're on devotions." with "Actually..." and then the truth. I realized how proud I've been, how much I built my place in HPA on that lofty platform of devotions. I glorified in putting together devotions that would sound good and powerful, not necessarily asking God to speak His words through me, just to use my words for Him. There's a difference. Yet through it all, I loved it so much, I made it an idol in my life. It was an idol of pride, self-worth, and popularity. We all know that God can't stand idols.

So He pulled it down. It kinda felt like HPA as I know it came crashing down around me too. It's brought tears to my eyes more than once to watch the team meet in different corners and knowing how encouraging those meetings are. My heart hurt while I sat through devotions last week. Watching the community between the members has been painful. It's all been painful.

But it's good. That's the last word I want to use to describe it, but I must. Chris Brown talked at the Leadership Summit about how much pain and revenge Saul went through because he refused to admit that David was a better leader and warrior than he was. Saul wouldn't move over or get out of the chariot to make room for David.

Chris then asked us, "Do you have room in your chariot for someone else? Someone who might do the job better than you?" I kinda feel pushed out of the chariot, but honestly, I don't know if I would have gotten out any other way. So it's good. I'm where God wants me, and it's the best place to be. I'm crazy blessed to have been on the devotion team for two years, and I'm crazy blessed to get to listen to their devotions now.

Larry Osborne says, "We don't care who teaches the message, as long as the message is taught."

So teach it, devotion teams. Remind the casts who God is and who we are, and how everything we do; the singing, the dancing, the acting, everything, is for Him and because of Him and His love and His grace. Encourage them, rebuke them, teach them, and love them, every one, even the ones who are in no way like you. Stay humble, stay focused on grace and God. I'm praying for each of you.

"Not to us, oh Lord, not to us, but to Your Name be the glory."

Every Time I Turn It On...

Andy, Asia, myself & Beth | Sometime between 12 and 1 in the morning | February 10th, 2013

This is the picture that I see every time I turn on the computer.

I love it, but not just because it's a picture of a few of my dear friends.

I love it because it's a picture of the power of Jesus, the work of His hands.

I love it because it shows a healthy, healed Asia.

I love it because though Andy is sick, he's still smiling and still proclaiming that God is good.

I love it because Beth and I are standing together, like we did for 3 weeks straight.

I love it because this group- we prayed together every day, all the time.

I love it because though we all had bad days, though we all were tired and messy, we stood by each others' side through it all.

I love it because we laughed and cried, worshiped, sang, and prayed- together.

I love it because we fell on the rock of Jesus Christ everyday, and clung to it for precious refuge.

I love it because we got to work together all year long, and watch so many God stories of Asia's senior year.

I love it because it brings back so many memories of one of us going to another and exclaiming, "Guess what God just did!"

And I love it because each of them showed me the love of Jesus, and I praise Him that we got to be His hands and feet to each other every day.

I love it, because I am blessed.

(Yes, My Fair Lady closed back in February, and I'm just now writing about it. Better late than never. :) I've been waiting to post until I had more pictures (*hint* you know who you are), but I decided to go ahead with just this one.)

A Team

During Fiddler, one of my favorite memories is just remembering the camaraderie between all 6 members of the devotion team. Yes, we had been chosen by the directors as a group, but we were more than a team.

We were friends.

When we were together, God was there with us. When one of us gave devotions to the cast, the rest of us were behind that one, praying. When we had a problem or prayer request or a praise, that was the group we'd take it to.

Together, we were set-apart. 

Praying before closing night- in various stages of costuming

This year, our team is different. Janae graduated, Tanner has gone other directions, Chase is in Seussical, but Asia, Abby and I are still here. together. And we've added two guys, Andy and Jamie to our midst.

and it's incredible what God has done.

I hadn't realized just how much I depended on these people. They were the ones who I could always go to. They were always there.

But on Thursday, practice was a little different. Andy was gone, due to being sick, and Asia sprained her back and was taken away in an ambulance early in our practice.

HPA wasn't the same. Abby and I didn't know what to do- how to go about our day- without these two critical members of our group. It was as if our little family had been ripped apart.

And in those moments, Jesus reminded me to never, ever, take someone for granted. Asia showed us all how quickly someone can be perfectly healthy one moment, and gone away in a flash of red light the next.

So look around you. Find the people whom are stable. and imagine your life without them.

Then thank Jesus that that picture isn't reality.

And hug those people extra tight next time you see them.

{When Friends are Gone}

There are people in my life that I take for granted.

Oh, I thank God for them and I smile at their presence but I never think about them leaving.

I just think that they'll be in my life forever.

I know that's not realistic. I know that God puts people in your life when you need them and He can move you on when He wants to.

But you don't think about that day. and you don't imagine it will come knocking at your door tomorrow.
~~~~
We've known them for 8 years and his 18 years to my 15 makes us more like brother and sister than anything else. He works at the church and is at HPA every week and takes classes at our co-op and is always there.

And while I don't always talk to him and sometimes a wave is the only interaction we have in a day he has always been a part of the picture.

He's a constant. I thought he always would be because he's the one who owns the business that's booming already in its 2nd year. The business that was supposed to grow into landscaping and other yard work things that I know nothing about but he did.

But he's taking a trip across the country this summer. and a few days ago he spoke of the military and SEALS and 6 years and everything in my heart was screaming "no", and I was glad that it was dark to hide my sudden shock.

This is his passion. He will do it and do it well and he will shine a strong- oh, such a strong- light for Christ through that broken world.

But it doesn't make it any easier.

I'll search for him at church and wait for his laugh at HPA before my head tells my heart he's gone.

I'm miss his teasing and his faces and his passion. I'll miss the ways he shows his sweet spirit to others- like bringing them caramel hot chocolate when he knows they're having a bad day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The whole thing threw me for a loop. And when things throw me for a loop, I sit and puzzle about them until the way straightens out again.

God is so good and has given me so many people who are all in my life for a reason. I am so blessed by all the little things they do and so often, I don't realize the impact they've made on my life.

The past few days have made me think hard about the role that different people play. I've determined to thank them more, to show my gratitude and love in ways to make them smile. I'm going to think about what my life would look like without them and then thank God that that's not my reality.

And then I will live life to the fullest. every moment. I will dance and I will sing and hug and smile and then I will thank God.

Because He has blessed me with amazing friends here and now.

And She's a Freshman {Again}

Friday, one of my bestest friends walked down the aisle and accepted her diploma from her parents. It's so hard to believe that she finally is no longer a highschooler, but instead a college freshman.

Over this past month and a year, we've made so many memories. Our friendship began in the midst of a rough time for her, but it really built our friendship upon Christ.

Let's see, my favorite memories include:

• praying together backstage before each AGYG show... and about every hour during those weeks.
• Writing out verses on torn notebook paper and leaving them in random places
• long talks on the phone over the summer
• looking for sea glass along the shore of Lake Michigan for hours
• being in Fiddler together!
• those really long practices where we both didn't want to move and did anyway.

•  The way we can look at each other from across the room and tell the other's emotional state
• Getting paired together in the Chava dance and being each other's "best friend" on stage as well
• All the tears we've shared, all the pain we've endured, all the laughter, the smiles and the fun that has all come from Jesus Christ.
• The extra special bond we shared on closing night...

Katherine, 
I've loved having my freshman year blessed with the friendship of you. You never fail to make my day, make me smile, make me laugh. My life has been forever changed because of you. And you know that words will never express how much you mean to me. 
Love always, 
Sunshine

Because it makes me smile...

Obviously this picture is quite old... almost two years.  But it was the only picture I had.

Last Saturday, my dear friend Katherine and her brother Matthew took me up to see HPA's production of The Wizard of Oz. It was a great show, but it's more the memories that make me smile when I think about it.

Cause you see that guy up there? The one sitting next to me? His name is Mr. Cole and he's amazing. I'll probably talk more about him later, so for now, you'll have to take my word on it.

So when we went to Oz... (I love that statement. It sounds like we were actually there- in Oz. ) I was so crazy excited to see Mr. Cole. I hadn't seen him since the wedding (I was too busy looking for certain people at Beast.) And when I finally found him about 45 minutes after the show ended, he was talking to someone on stage. So I went up, expecting a side hug and maybe a smile before going on my merry way. 

He looked straight at me, said "You stay right there." and continued his conversation. I sank down, crossed my legs and rested my head on my fists. Yes, I get goofy with my friends and it was late. 10:45ish. 

Meanwhile, my group of friends was about 10 feet away, talking and laughing. I later found out that Katherine had asked "What is she doing?" and Breanne answered "She's basking in his wisdom." What was I saying about us being goofy?!?!? :)

When Mr. Cole had finish his conversation, I stood up. He picked me up, swung me around and gave me the best hug I've ever received. It makes me smile just thinking about it. I got to talk to him for probably 5 whole minutes. straight. Seriously, guys. It's the little things in life. :)

"Why is this important?" you might ask. Well, it's not. But it's a memory I wanted to catalog. Deeper thoughts coming soon, I promise.

Joy is...

Joy is an intensive, good practice even after this.

Joy is walking and talking with her during our breaks.

Joy is the beautiful plants in bloom.

Joy is seeing three dear friends at Pizza Hut.

Joy is banana chocolate chip muffins, fresh from the oven.

Joy is having watched all five since 8:30, and having it be a good day.

Joy is getting to see EJ, Josh, Jenna, Elizabeth, Breanne and Brooklyn in Beauty and the Beast tonight.

Joy is also getting to see Veronica, Anna, Katherine and Annie tonight.

Joy is the knowledge that Jesus has provided for our needs already, we just have to wait and see what He has planned.

At this moment, what is joy to you?

Mrs. P

Yesterday was much more difficult then I would have imagined.

We all knew something was up, when the full HPA staff called our full cast to together at 10. I mean, most of them were supposed to be at Beauty and the Beast, which opened that night. and when Mr. G and Mrs. B got up there and then couldn't say anything for a moment, the tension only grew.

The short of it, our assistant director, Mrs. P along with her daughter Christina, have had to drop our show. We had a very emotional day, lots of tears from everyone, getting to hug them one last time and lots of prayers.

Mr G read us 1 Peter 5:6&7 after he told us the news and it reads

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 

We are trusting that God is going to lift us up. We need His help right now. With only two practices left until Tech week, these final days are critical. and Mr. G can't do it alone.

Please be praying for our entire Fiddler cast. There was a gaping hole yesterday, both in the practice and in our hearts. Healing takes time, and we don't have much of it.

Mrs. P and her lovely daughter, Theresa. ::photo by my Veronica-Girl::

Mrs. P- This is my public acknowledgment to say thank you for being such an influential person in my life. I have been so touched by your kindness, your brilliant smile and your sweet words. Thank you for living for Christ through everything you do. I miss you so much already. HPA won't be the same without your shining presence. I love you.

The Desires of Your Heart

See this girl?

This is Anna- one of my closest friends. Ever since our beloved HPA announced that they were doing Fiddler, we wanted to be in it together. And when she was cast as a momma and I as a daughter, we mapped out the perfect family in our heads. It might have included each other. :)

But I have learned that "awesome in your head" plans don't usually come around. In fact, it's very rare that my super ideas "come true."

I'm a dreamer. and I'm okay with that.

I was in FL when Mr. G assigned everyone their families. Families were strange this year, I think the directors tried to mix us up because there aren't many friends together. True, Anna only had two sons- and no daughters- but I was pretty sure that we wouldn't end up together. and I started preparing my heart for that. 

Two weeks went by. I jumped with two eager feet back into HPA life. All through practices and choreography Anna and I pretended to be family- but we knew it wouldn't last. Soon I would be assigned a family and our dreaming would over. I was assured at every practice that Mr. G "had a family for me, he just couldn't remember who it was right now."

Until last Thursday. He called for us to get in our family group and sent me to Mrs. P to find my family. I stood there as she searched, wondering if I should suggest, but knowing that she would probably turn it down. I was slightly anxious, but content. 

She finally found the paper and I resisted the urge to find my name. "Okay, Lindsey... let's see. You're with Chase and Anna."

I think my heart momentarily stopped. 

I lifted my head, eyes full of shock. "Really, Mrs. P? Really?" She grew confused, "Yesssss..."

I spun around, found Anna's eyes. I nodded. Stepped closer. Murmured out "For reals." (not really sure where that one came from. :P)

All of a sudden, we were jumping up and down and squealing and doing our hyper routine from the days of AGYG. I don't think I stopped smiling the whole day long.

Texting her on my way home, I thought of Psalm 37:4

Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.

 And as I'm sitting here, He brought to my mind Matthew 7:11 as well.

If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

I feel so blessed to have received such an amazing gift. It was something I dreamed, plotted, schemed, but I didn't really think that anything would really happen. It brings to mind one more verse.

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

 :)

{And on another note, it's kinda her birthday today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMA!!! I love you so much. I have been so blessed by your sweet spirit, your caring words and your prayers. So many memories... remember the sprees? and hyper mode? and the best weekend sleepover? You are one of the most amazing friends. ever. period. I hope you have a wonderful 17th, tell Davis to make it extra special, k? And remember, your parents will be home soon. You can make it. only 5 days left. I LOVE YOU!!!!}

Greta Face

This is Greta... affectionately called Greta Face instead of Greta Faith because of her thousands- literally - of expressions. This girl is going to do great things someday, and she has quite the story. She's already inspiring!

 

She loved the Oompa Loompas so much- so when we had a pair of Oompa socks with holes in them, Mrs. W cut the feet off and gave them to her. She was a very happy girl and went around singing "Oompa. Oompa."

You're daring to take my picture- again!?!?!

Posting this one again because I love it so much. :)

This is her gorgeous big sister- one of my dearest friends.

 Isn't she adorable? I love her so much and can't wait to see her grow up. I'm praying that she'll be on fire for Jesus Christ.

I think I only have one more post about Wonka... but we'll see. Are you tired of it already? :)

A Peek Behind the Scenes... (Part 2)

So here we go again! I apologize for the quality of some of these pictures... the lighting kinda stinks in the Colt Center.

Praying before the show

The bed had rolled over her ankle. It was bruised for about a week, but she was fine.

Three of the flower mommas

I kinda love what having my camera on "no flash" did here.

Giving God back the glory before even leaving the stage

Fly Guy

And thus starts the Eli manipulation...

hahaha

So did you enjoy seeing a bit of what life was like? I wish I could have captured everything, the private jokes, the edifying conversation, the flurry of the hair and makeup room and the peace of quiet time. But one can only seize the moments that they don't fully participate in, and I was in the thick of things most of the time. I'm not upset I didn't grab those things, those fleeting moments- I feel so blessed that I could lift my camera and snap the shots that I did take.

Here's to more memories, improved camera skills, and a whole new show coming in late April- early May! I can hardly wait. :)