A Letter to My Girlies

Dear ones,

Can it really be that you are 4 and a week today? When did you go from being my babies to my girlies?

I love that you are twins. I love your closeness and the way you know each other inside and out. I love how when you're apart, it's "When's my sister-friend coming home?" all the time.

Having lived this life for 11 1/2 more years than you, I've poured out my heart here on this page. I know that all too soon, you'll be reading this yourself. As for right now, you're sitting on the floor playing with your Bitty Babies and singing something to the tune of Jingle Bells. and I love it.

First of all, JESUS. Make sure He always comes first. Don't let anything get in the way of having time with Him. Know that no matter what, He will always, always, always be at your side and He loves you more than the sun and the moon and the stars and this world and He died a bloody death because He loved you so. Love Him back. It's so worth it.

Stay best friends for your whole life. The world will try to separate you and Satan will annoy you but the relationship that you cultivated since before birth is beyond priceless. Whatever it takes, be on each other's side. Already, you both have such strong, loyal personalities. Use that strength and loyalty on each other. Never stop loving.

Don't play the comparing game. You are both incredibly beautiful, sweet, lovely girls. Being identical twins will be hard, but Jesus made you both in His image. One might have more friends, more boldness, more energy. That doesn't make you worse. You are your own unique person, created by the God of the universe.

Don't be afraid of the new and unknown. Don't be afraid to get your hair wet. The world can be a scary place, but Jesus is with you! You are a daughter of the King! Hold your head up and go out and do great things for Him.

There will come a day when something tragic happens and you feel like your world is crashing down. It isn't. Go ahead, cry, pray and take a few moments. It's okay to feel pain. It's okay to cry. Do you hear that?!? It's okay to cry. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

Jesus has a really special guy picked out just for you. It makes me smile thinking of this now but it's, oh, so true. Don't worry at age 10 about how you'll meet him, or age 15 about how you'll know that he's the one. I can't tell you how you'll meet him, or how you'll know. But it's all in God's plan for you. Don't fret.

If you still wear matching clothes when you're 17, it's okay. :) And speaking of clothes, don't put too much effort into it, k? It doesn't matter what will make you look the cutest. Really, get up, put on clothes and spend the other time with Jesus. You'll get way more out of it than standing in front of the closet.

If you grow up and decide not to do HPA, it's okay. Don't be pressured into doing something just because we all have loved it. It's okay not to love what everyone else does. God put a special passion in you to go out and shine His light with. If God's not calling you to theater, that's okay. If you don't like watching football games, that's okay. If the piano keys don't make pretty noises under your fingers, that's okay. You go out and do what Jesus is calling you to, and I won't try to convince you otherwise.

Always be sympathetic. You never know what hardships someone is going through at home. Promise to be there and hug them tight and write them letters but most of all, pray. With them, for them. You'll never know how much it means.

You will be in weddings. You were already in Abigail and Brian's and were so adorable. But always be prepared with tissues and smiles and waterproof mascara. Know that your day will come and you will be the one in white. and I'll be the one with the tissues then.

Don't lose your individuality. It's a precious thing in this day and age. Stay true to who Jesus wants you to be. Don't sway with the popular crowd. I've done it and it's so not fun. Be who you are in Jesus Christ and He will help you stay strong.

You are amazing. The way your smile lights up the room and your laughter makes us laugh too makes our house a home. Your faces in that picture ^^^ make my heart melt. 

I could go on and on, but my fingers are beginning to stumble in the darkness of this quiet room. If you only get one thing out of this letter, have it be this:

Jesus loves you. Both of you. exactly how you are. Love Him back.

I will love you always.

Your Lindsey

When Jesus Says "See How Much I Love You?"

I'm really sentimental. Those who know me in real life know that.

This year, I'm in HPA's My Fair Lady (What!?! I know. I haven't talked about casting at all.) and one of my mom's best friends is the choreographer for Seussical. She has a precious 3 year old, Crew whom I have the privilege of watching while she's teaching. She's also due with her 6th baby in 2 weeks. I'm really pumped. :)

But anyway. I watch Crew while Mrs. W dances. We read stories and do projects and be spies and pirates and play games. It's so fun and I love it. But a few weeks ago, Mrs. W started being scheduled in small little groups, and she always had a son free to watch him.

In the past few days, I realized that my days watching just Crew were probably done. Today was supposed to be another lighter day and by our next rehearsal, Baby W will be here. It made me kinda of sad, because I really wanted one final "This is my last day with just Crew" day.

I was getting something ready for breakfast yesterday morning and in my head prayed, "God, It would be really cool if You could call the full cast so that I could watch Crew one last time."

That's it. I really "knew" that it wouldn't happen, because HPA people don't change plans easily.

Then later that day, I discovered the Seuss email in my inbox.

There was a purple box that read "Full Cast. 10-11 Choreo. Mrs. W."

I was floored.

It was then that God whispered to me "See what I can do with a simple prayer? Have faith in Me, darling. My plans for you are good."

The My Fair Lady (MFL) email hadn't come in yet, but I knew (for real this time) that God had everything in His hands.

And sure enough, when the email arrived, I had the whole morning open. Completely free to spend 3 hours with my little boy.

Wasn't he just this little?!? {Thanksgiving 2010}

So today, I'm going to doing everything I talked about yesterday. I'll relish this last practice of being devoted to just Crew.

And then I'll come home and get really excited for the 27th and to see if Baby W is a boy or a "girl with braids" as Ellie and Hannah say. :)  (Random note: wouldn't it be strange if baby girls were born with braids? Poor E & H will be quite disappointed if this baby is a girl, because, although s/he supposedly has lots of hair, I know for a fact it won't be braided.)

More soon. <3

{When Friends are Gone}

There are people in my life that I take for granted.

Oh, I thank God for them and I smile at their presence but I never think about them leaving.

I just think that they'll be in my life forever.

I know that's not realistic. I know that God puts people in your life when you need them and He can move you on when He wants to.

But you don't think about that day. and you don't imagine it will come knocking at your door tomorrow.
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We've known them for 8 years and his 18 years to my 15 makes us more like brother and sister than anything else. He works at the church and is at HPA every week and takes classes at our co-op and is always there.

And while I don't always talk to him and sometimes a wave is the only interaction we have in a day he has always been a part of the picture.

He's a constant. I thought he always would be because he's the one who owns the business that's booming already in its 2nd year. The business that was supposed to grow into landscaping and other yard work things that I know nothing about but he did.

But he's taking a trip across the country this summer. and a few days ago he spoke of the military and SEALS and 6 years and everything in my heart was screaming "no", and I was glad that it was dark to hide my sudden shock.

This is his passion. He will do it and do it well and he will shine a strong- oh, such a strong- light for Christ through that broken world.

But it doesn't make it any easier.

I'll search for him at church and wait for his laugh at HPA before my head tells my heart he's gone.

I'm miss his teasing and his faces and his passion. I'll miss the ways he shows his sweet spirit to others- like bringing them caramel hot chocolate when he knows they're having a bad day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The whole thing threw me for a loop. And when things throw me for a loop, I sit and puzzle about them until the way straightens out again.

God is so good and has given me so many people who are all in my life for a reason. I am so blessed by all the little things they do and so often, I don't realize the impact they've made on my life.

The past few days have made me think hard about the role that different people play. I've determined to thank them more, to show my gratitude and love in ways to make them smile. I'm going to think about what my life would look like without them and then thank God that that's not my reality.

And then I will live life to the fullest. every moment. I will dance and I will sing and hug and smile and then I will thank God.

Because He has blessed me with amazing friends here and now.

{Psalm 33:10-12}

The Lord foils the plans of the nations;
    he thwarts the purposes of the peoples.

But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever,
    the purposes of his heart through all generations.

 Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord,
    the people he chose for his inheritance.

Please, vote the way Jesus would tomorrow.

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